The story here has a great beginning. I am wondering what the day in court is about and I want to read on. I love the presentation of his dreams. I experience that; flash backs in pieces of the previous-night's dreaming. It's so intriguing that the dream details match the article. This is good plot development! I'm wondering what the climax of the story will reveal.
Dr. Stevens is a bit boring, as you must intend for him to be. He's just like a dentist doing routine dental work. He's seen this sort of thing a thousand times before. It's a bit sad that someone working with a great mystery becomes so scientific about it, and I'm thinking he's a bit too much the cool scientist. A more passionate investigator might be better. Dennis, too is a bit low-key. This is a life-changing episode causing him to realize the great revelation you write; 'The mind and the soul do not always agree...' and the soul is much more powerful. This should shake him to his core, making him question his whole existence, as it had been. That would be my one criticism of this very good story. Polo
Hello, again. I'm very new here. So, I find you also in sci-fi, where I'll soon release a story. My intent is to read many authors, but after 'The Uncomfortable Bliss...' I wanted to see what a sci-fi story of yours is like.
'Cruellest Month' was difficult, and as I took it, tragic. I had to sleep and dream on this one. I think you are teaching me the use of subtlety in story writing. I gave this several readings, not just because I enjoyed reading it, but also I was trying to rid myself of the disorientation it gave me. I never fully succeeded, but I am rewarded with working the puzzle of it. If I never quite got my feet on the ground here, I guess that was appropriate.
Here's how I read it: Dr. Collins should have been humanity's newest hero and savior. He sought, sheltered and protected the best of our species from destruction in an ecologically collapsing earth, and he made the twelve intelligent ships to keep and transport them to a new planet that these ships find. Instead of joining the previous eleven, he tragically ends bound in a shadow dream-life given to him by 'December', the last ship, somewhat like a heroine addict to his drug. It's probable that I read into it some distortions of your intent as an author. I'd like to know from you, if you would.
If I was way off, that's embarrassing because I really felt an immense grief for Julian when I first read it, especially where he says, "It was so arranged," and sobs. I was devastated when his final attempt to remember the answers locked within him to why he had to leave ended in failure. I could recognize he was struggling to reclaim who he was by remembering. It felt ominously like a piece of his brain was missing, before I got to the ending. The last paragraphs were a stunning confirmation of my fear, and the man lost his living soul. Then, the ship 'realized' it could ask the others. I felt a chill.
I admire this work and yet may be overlooking something or could use a prompting from you on meaning. You and I are such different writers. I really will now go read and review others for my enrichment and, hopefully, enjoyment. But, I will be back! I can say I've enjoyed and been enriched by visiting with you. Polo
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jmjennison
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 1:42pm on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
