\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jlrenae
Review Requests: OFF
85 Public Reviews Given
85 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 ... Next
1
1
Review of Boxed In  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: At first glance, the structure and flow was enough to intrigue me to keep reading. I was pleasantly surprised with the well developed story throughout the poem, the evident underlying theme, the paradoxal factors of good and evil both present in the world, and the want and desire of a parent or parental figure to protect their child from the world by hiding them away.
Characters: N/A
Spelling and Grammar: Consider adding punctuation, if not throughout, then atleast add commas after stanzas that sentence continues into the next line. All spelling seemed accurate.
Good Points: I really love the main theme. The juxposition of providing protection but also hindering and trapping, versus putting into danger and having to let go or worse. An interesting reperesentation of a common theme, hold to close and you crush, too loose and it'll fly away. Also, by blocking out the good, you block out the bad. You can't have the best of both worlds.
Suggestions: Just consider the punctuation suggestion.
Overall: A really well written piece, articulated and rather remarkable. I sincerely enjoyed this piece, thank you!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
2
2
Review of The Wind  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response:I love the rhyme scheme, the flow was both natural and steady.
Characters: N/A
Spelling and Grammar: Consider adding period to the end of thoughts besides just commas to avoid the entire poem from just being one long run on sentence.
Good Points: Well worded and articulated. The wording is eloquent and ephemeral.
Suggestions: Consider the grammar suggestion.
Overall: A delightful read. Thank you very much. :]

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
3
3
Review of Why try?  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: A piece obiously written with a lot of emotionaly conviction and turmoil that was legitimate from the author.
Characters: N/A
Spelling and Grammar: The line "Do what you want, I don't care,, you've.." should be "Do what you want; I don't care, you've..." Add a period after both "store" and "chore"
Good Points: Strong emotional impact with easily relatable stanzas that make the piece easy to empathize with.
Suggestions: Rework the sentence structure or wording a little bit to improve the rhythem and flow.
Overall: A good piece that could easily be made exceptional.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
4
4
Review of Hollow Melody  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Strong, solid writing with an easily identifiable and distinguishable voice that made for a rather charming, although short, read.
Characters: N/A
Spelling and Grammar: "cresendo" is "crescendo", but otherwise superb.
Good Points: Strong emotional impact, natural flow and likeable rhyme scheme.
Suggestions: Fix the one spelling error.
Overall: A very good poem, I'd be very interested to read more from this author. Thank you.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
5
5
Review of Silent Tears  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR*

Welcome to WDC from

"Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*



First response: I really enjoyed this poem; the way it was structured, the way it rhymes, word choice, etc.
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar: All the spelling and grammar seems accurate.
Good Points: Every line is almost some simplistic yet profound statement that is easily identifiable and relatable. An emotional and passionate piece that resonates within the reader and most people, if not everyone, can in some for or degree empathize with.
Suggestions: None for this piece!
Overall: A great read, glad I found it. It definitely deserves the four star rating, and is really a exceptional piece.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
6
6
Review of Occasional Haiku  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Interesting juxtapose between the two pieces! One of a sunny typical day , the second a descriptive holiday festive piece. I love the paradoxical nature of the two and the way they play off and oppose each other
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar: "in horizon" should be "in the horizon". Smile should have a comma after it, or a period.
Good Points: I love that you used both an alliteration and an onomatopoeia literary device in " ting ring".
Suggestions: Consider punctuating differently.
Overall:A nice juxtaposition piece that was a nice read.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
7
7
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Nice rhymes in a pleasant read.
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar :All the occurring grammar and spelling is accurate.
Good Points: Poetic, heartfelt, and profound.
Suggestions: Consider adding or reworking punctuation, specifically commas, to make the flow your own and ensure that people read it just as you intended it to be read.
Overall: A solid poem with a serious and morose presentation , however the last two lines reallly made the biggest impact, particularly "We left knowing we gave it our all". I love that line, it's particularly haunting. ///////

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
8
8
Review of A Long Hard Day  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Interesting perspective of the love/hate, good/bad relationship of working.
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar:Add a comma after "bittersweet" and after "sets".
Good Points: Harsh yet.. light. Doesn't come off to strong or heavy, but the message/theme is apparent and the concepts are bittersweet and poetic and ironic in nature.
Suggestions: I'm not sure, but it just seems it could be improved.
Overall: A good piece that was interesting to read and a vibrant and new perspective that deserves to be represented.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
9
9
Review of I Have Found...  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Interesting peace with a heavy purpose.
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar:"but never has been embraced. " should be "but never had been embraced" embraced ends in -ed which is past tense, while has is present. If you intend to keep it in past tense, which I assume you do because your writing about something that occurred in the past, the tense of entire sentence needs to remain consistent.
Good Points: Strong conviction, passionate.
Suggestions: Work on the grammar, specifically punctuation.
Overall: Good job

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
10
10
Review of My Truth  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Good writing
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar: Consider putting a comma after read. Insert a period after paper.
Good Points: Valid and concerning issue with any writer, understandable.
Suggestions:Make it rhyme, I think it would prove beneficial to the flow of this particular piece.
Overall:An honest concern in relation to revealing your soul in your writing

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
11
11
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Love it
12
12
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Nice
13
13
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Aw, glad I found this. I love buffy

However a few of the first questions were overly vague and just random things you picked out to be difficult. Complex questions regarding symbolism or the characters, etc is okay but just purposelly choosing pointless questions to make it hard only goes so far. Anyway, your obviously a true fan, and I appreciate this quiz/ Thanks
14
14
Review of Not a toy.  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: A different piece with a sad overall tone and a somewhat disconnected energy.
Characters: N/A
Spelling and Grammar: "Too deep Now it seeps", deep should have a comma after it, as well as after "bed" and "pain". Other than that, punctuation, grammar, and spelling seemed accurate other than that.
Good Points: Good vocabulary, and the piece is unified by having an intent, purpose, and clear message it is trying to convey.
Suggestions: Put more emotion into it, and rework the words and sentences to have more substance, a new depth.
Overall: A good basis and start that has potential to improve significantly.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
15
15
Review of More  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Really impressive piece that is well written and the message apparent, clear, and heartbreakingly relatable.
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar: Consider punctuating like this:
Every time I see your face, I want to hide;
It's not because I don't love you anymore,
It's because I love you more than before."
Good Points: Amazing in it's power yet simplisity. Well worded, well written, and remarkably beautiful.
Suggestions: Consider placing a comma after "face".
Overall: The highest rating I have ever given, amazing especially for how short and simple. Well written and moving, I'm very, very glad I read this. With the grammar and punctuation fixed, the piece is a 5.0 without a doubt!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
16
16
Review of In the Hall  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Nice, concise, potent poem.
Characters: N/A
Spelling and Grammar: Add a period after "hall", and after "all". Consider adding a comma after "today" and add a comma after "mind".
Good Points: Strong conviction and emotionally charged, has a good purpose and point.
Suggestions: Consider keeping the content intact but rearranging the last few lines. Such as:
Today, I saw you in the hall.
I wish that I could spill it all.
Just to say what's on my mind,
and tell you I lie when I say I'm fine.
Overall: A real strong, powerful read that I am glad was posted and that I had the chance to review! Thank you.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
17
17
Review of Timepiece  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Interesting, unique. A worth while read.
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar: Grammar and spelling seems accurate.
Good Points: Strong point well articulated. Good underlying theme, obvious point and purpose to the piece.
Suggestions: Not sure on the last two lines, are you sure sense and not since is what you intended?
Overall: An endearing and simplistic read worth checking out, although the flow is interrupted and the rectifying and reconstruction of the last two lines might prove very beneficial. The beginning is solid, precise, and simplistic yet profound and subtley apparent though not over powering.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
18
18
Review of The Day  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Simple and concise.
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar: Use punctuation:
The day I die;
I will fly,
Into the sky.
Oh so high.
Oh my,
Oh my
Good Points: Simple and direct. Complete although not detailed.
Suggestions: Perhaps "oh, so high" with a comma after oh would read better and provide a well accepted pause.
Overall: Good and provides a completed though, but it does seem to be missing something.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
19
19
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: A great piece, strong theme that is apparent while also being well articulated.
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar:"Dont" should not be capitalized and should have an apostrophe between the n and t. "swift" needs to be capitalized as it is a name, "mould" should be "mold" and "Wer'e" should be "We're"
Good Points: The last four lines are epic. Rather haunting and beatifully written. Great piece!
Suggestions: Fix the grammar and spelling errors. Perhaps add more substance to some of the lines.
Overall: Strong view, full of conviction, passionate, articulated and conceptualized well.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
20
20
Review of Stories Unknown  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: The narration was inspiring and seemed intimate. The voice was loud and articulated.
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar: All seems accurate.
Good Points: The vocabular and diction, the serious tone with an uplifting sublayer.
Suggestions: Consider using the to thy the there to thine, while I agree with the poetic integrity, modern day usually finds it superflous so it has to be used carefully.
Overall: A great piece or writing, interesting and creative.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
21
21
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Strong and solid writing the follows organically and naturally.
Characters:n/a
Spelling and Grammar: Both spelling and grammar seems accurate. Consider punctuation, including periods and commas if the sentence continues onto the next stanza/line.
Good Points: Emotional, passionate, a piece that resonates within the reader after read.
Suggestions: Fix the punction, and rework a little to make more potent emotionally/
Overall: A good read, I'm glad it was posted.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
22
22
Review of For the First  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First response: Well written, artistic, showing a good vocabulary and arrangement.
Characters: N/A
Spelling and Grammar: Consider watching for run on sentences and make sure to properly punctuate things.
Good Points: I really like the last, "I find the strength to fall", it's a great literary device.
Suggestions: Be more detailed and add more of an emotional emphasis to the piece.
Overall: A good start for what can become an amazing piece! Thank you for posting.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
23
23
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR*

Welcome to WDC from

"Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*



First response: In depth and descriptive.
Characters: Narrator has a strong overall tone and voice that resonates loudly through out the entire piece.
Spelling and Grammar: Change some of the commas to periods to prevent the entire story as being read as one long, stretched out sentence.
Good Points: Good vocabulary and syntax, with the flow coming off as organic and natural/
Suggestions: Besides adding periods to break up the sentences, and more details and insert more of an emotional aspect and perspective to the piece to round it out nicely and touch on all the main aspects a good piece of literature or a work of art contains.
Overall: A good fundamental foundation, with vivid and concise language that is well thought out, and exceptionally written and executed, although there remain some missing aspects.

My review has been submitted for

consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
24
24
Review of OLD FRIENDS  Open in new Window.
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR*

Welcome to WDC from

"Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*



First response: Solid writing, very individual and unique.
Characters:N/A
Spelling and Grammar: Punctuation, capitalization, grammar, and spelling seems almost complete!
However "imgination" should be "imagination".
"And pop" they.." should be "And pop" They ..."
Good Points: Strong and articulated theme that was well presented and conveyed.
Suggestions: Work on the above mentioned spelling and capitalization issues.
Overall: A solid piece that's simplicity is under rated and endearing.

My review has been submitted for

consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
25
25
Review by JamieLynn Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


First Response: Strong tone, conviction, and it insights interest and serves well as a prologue.
Characters: N/A
Spelling and Grammar: Consider reworking "..distracted, vulnerable" into "distracted; vulnerable to ..."
Good Points:
Suggestions: Consider making "There is no way to escape it. Nowhere to hide, to run" into "There is no way to escape it; nowhere to hide, nowhere to run."
Consider rearranging the hide and run. Run generally tends to go first, and follows the assumed logical progression.
Overall: A great preview that serves it's purpose to stimulate curiosity and interest the individual.
45 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 2 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jlrenae