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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jesska101
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi

I really liked this, very imaginative. I really felt like i 'connected' to the main character, i WANTED him to find his mentor's secret. The only thing i would suggest is perhaps build up the tension a bit more in the first few paragraphs, before he spies the mirror; wheat the main character see's in the mirror is brilliant, but i felt that it would have been more effective if the suspense had been built up a bit more in the beginning; perhaps some darker imagery concerning the surroundings, something to create more of that 'first impression' of foreboding.

Good job, happy writing :)
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