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Review by jessibee33 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I didn't read the original, but I like this one. I like the way it flows. The only suggestion I might have would be to see if you can get the longer phrases to have closer to the same number of syllables as each other. For instance, "white lines on the road" and "Cool wind through my hair," both have 5, and the last two could easily be made to have 5. "Chrome engine beneath," and "Man, woman, and bike." The first one would be harder. Or maybe you aren't interested in having them the same - just a thought. Good job!
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