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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jercules
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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Shadow Running  Open in new Window.
Review by Jercules Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
It's ironic that this ended being a story about faith in God, because it reminded me a lot of a story by Clive Barker called "Down, Satan!"

Your story is really more of a fable, based on a simple but clever idea. Very original.

Gripes: Your point about having faith is illustrated quite well without the "I realize to most of you this is kind of silly...", and if the quality of your art is more important than preaching I'd chop that entire part out. Also, I'd break it up into paragraphs, just to make for an easier read if nothing else.
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Review of Weeping  Open in new Window.
Review by Jercules Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
That isn't the whole story is it?

If not, it sounds promising. Another proofread just to clean it up would be a good idea.
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