What a heartbreaking story. I really couldn't find anything to criticize, so I have to give it a 5 rating. I've tutored a few foster kids - relatively lucky ones placed in decent homes - but the broken promises are still there.
Don't sell yourself short. You have the makings of a good plot here, realistic characters and dialogue, and it flows well. I found the part where the mother comes in a little confusing, but with some revision I think this could make a quality story. It could even be the base for something longer.
There are a lot of good things about this story. Emma is believable, the dialogue sounds natural and the idea of Emma's father telling her to watch for the rain is a nice touch. I think you could improve the story by making it clear why Emma was kidnapped. Why does Mr. Keller need her? There's a lot of potential here.
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