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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jeff
Review Requests: OFF
4,446 Public Reviews Given
4,575 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Christoph W Viszcok

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Positives

I really enjoyed this poem. I thought it was particularly elegant in its simplicity while also communicating a whole lot of emotion and meaning. The structure of the haiku was flawless, as far as I can tell... although I'm by no means an expert on poetry! *Wink*


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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2
2
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (2.5)
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Hi Diskorist

Congratulations on your account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

Your article got off to a really interesting start, right off the bat. Someone who judges other people wholly based on their musical tastes is an interesting scenario and you did a good job of getting the reader right into the narrative.


Suggestions

The purpose of the piece was a little unclear due to the way the audience changes. At first it felt like you were talking to an objective third party about this strange relationship you have, but then toward the end it seems to pivot and almost be directed at the individual themselves, then goes back to a more objective, removed point of view. I'd recommend honing the tone and style of the piece a bit to refine the audience you're intending it for.

I'd also recommend a thorough proofread, as there were quite a few typos and grammar errors that caused a hitch in the pace of the read.


Overall

Overall, this feels like a very rough and raw piece of writing, but there's some potential here. The scenario you're describing is interesting, and you do a great job of capturing your feelings and emotions about the situation. That's not easy to do and definitely something to build off as you refine the execution. *Smile*


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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3
3
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi nk velu

Congratulations on your account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

This is a good intro for your book on Amazon. The teaser immediately captures interest and gets the reader's attention piqued.


Suggestions

You might want to consider adding some additional elements to this Static Item to draw attention to your book. For example, maybe a picture of the cover, or some excerpts from favorable reviews, or other information to entice visitors to check your work out.


Overall

Overall, this was a solid sales pitch for your book. There's a little room for improvement, but you're off to a great start. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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4
4
Review of Who are you?  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Jacklyn Jones

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Positives

I thought you did a great job with the imagery and the structure of this piece. It was an easy, effective read and I particularly liked the way you ended with a question to the reader. Nice work!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this piece.


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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5
5
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi RorySmith

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Positives

I think you did a great job making a distinction between the United Kingdom and the separate, distinct countries which comprise Great Britain. A lot of your points are well-taken, and your examples are spot on.


Suggestions

The one area that stuck for me was the following:

"While England is the largest of the countries on the island of Great Britain, and has the largest population, it is not another word for the UK. It would be like referring to the USA as New York, or Texas. The Queen is the Queen of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, not England."

I spent quite a lot of time thinking through whether that was accurate, and while I think it ultimately is, the imperfection of the analogy definitely threw me off. I wonder if a non-governmental example would be a better analogy so you don't get readers hung up like I did on whether, for example, referring to the USA as one of its states, or whether the monarch of a commonwealth is also the monarch of its collection of smaller countries.


Overall

Overall, I think this was an effective, persuasive piece of writing. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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6
6
Review of Somewhere In Time  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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Hi Sanctum

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Positives

I enjoyed reading this piece. I thought it was well-written and you managed to fit a lot of information and detail in a relatively short piece. I thought the dialogue at the end moved the story along nicely to an effective end.


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I enjoyed reading this. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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7
7
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi stormdrac

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Positives

I enjoyed this story. I thought you did a great job capturing a lot of information and detail in comparatively few words, and the dialogue effectively moved the story alone.


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I thought this was a solid nice. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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8
8
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Barb

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Positives

This was a charming story that you did a great job setting up and paying off. I like the fact that you detailed the importance of a sense of humor to defuse situations at the beginning of the story and then brought it around and paid it off at the end of the story. In such a short piece, that's not easy to do. Well done!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, this was a light, enjoyable story. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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9
9
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi Astralrose

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Positives

I thought you did a good job with this story. The 300-word flash fiction stories featuring a prompt of multiple keywords that have to be used can be a real challenge sometimes, and I thought you did well incorporating them into the narrative.


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this piece. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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10
10
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Memoria

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Positives

I thought the language in this piece, albeit brief, was really impactful and visceral. You did a great job of capturing a feeling and a vivid sense of emotion in comparatively few words. Nice work!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this piece. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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11
11
Review of Can this be?  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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Hi David Michel

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Positives

This was an entertaining, engaging vignette that captures the spark of a moment between two people. I like the simplicity of the piece, and the directness with which it was presented.


Suggestions

I was hoping for a bit more in the way of character development, to help the reader understand what it is about Ed and Samuel's connection that is so captivating that it would make them consider a spontaneous trip to London. I think it bit more development of the characters would help make the appeal of the situation even greater.


Overall

Overall, I think you're off to a great start with this piece. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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12
12
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Louis Lovelock

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Positives

I thought you did a really great job with this poem. The visual language is excellent, and your imagery paints a vibrant image for the reader. I thought the internal structure of the lines was good as well.


Suggestions

Personally, I would love to have a little white space / line separation to break the poem up a little and give the reader a visual break on the page, but that's a relatively small quibble with an otherwise excellent poem.


Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this piece. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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13
13
Review of Memories  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi lucky dog

Congratulations on your account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I really enjoyed your item. I thought it was a great reminder of how important memories are to us, and how devastating it can be to suffer from an affliction like Alzheimer's which steals those memories. Nice work!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this piece. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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14
14
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi everyone

Congratulations on your account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I like the positive message you convey in this piece, about being fiscally responsible and finding value in the simple things. You did a great job of including just enough details to paint a vivid picture without weighing down the narrative.


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I think you did a great job with this piece. Well done!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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15
15
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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Hi von Wahrenberger

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Positives

I really enjoyed the detail and description in this piece. The interactions between the characters were natural and flowed well, and contrasted nicely with the vivid description. Well done!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, this was a very entertaining read. Nice work!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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16
16
Review of Mystic Eyes  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi JMW

Congratulations on your account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion. *Party*


Positives

I really enjoyed the imagery in this piece. I thought you did a great job conveying some really vivid details in comparatively few works. Nice job!


Suggestions

Some of the lines felt like they went on a little long, with multiple pauses and sections, which gave the structure a bit of a run-on feel at times. If you were looking to revise this piece, you might want to play around with the line breaks a little to experiment with different structures and pacing.


Overall

Overall, this was an enjoyable read and you're off to a great start with it. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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17
17
Review of Inattentive ADD  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Ra Morgan

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Positives

I thought you did a great job of capturing the emotions of the situation in this poem. My wife works with students who have special needs and from what she's told me, this seems like a really accurate and vivid explanation for the experiences of someone with inattentive-type ADHD. Nice work!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this piece. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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18
18
Review of One For The Road  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi vondie

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Positives

I liked the setup for the piece. It was quick and to the point, and easily established the potential for a much larger story.


Suggestions

Ultimately, the setup is the only thing presented in this piece, and I was hoping for a little more about what happens after the characters introduce themselves to one another. The story that comes from this setup hasn't been told yet, and I'd love to see where it goes.


Overall

Overall, I thought this was a good intro to a larger story.


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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19
19
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Drake

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Positives

This poem was short and simple, but packed a punch. I particularly liked the structure and the way you ended the last two stanzas with questions for the reader. Nice work!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

I thought you did a good job with this piece. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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20
20
Review of When She Cries  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi C. Michael Salter

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Positives

I really liked the structure and the story you tell in this piece. I can definitely imagine it being set to music and being a really impactful song. Nice job!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I enjoyed the read and thought you did a good job with these song lyrics. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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21
21
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi Bunny_nene

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Positives

I thought this was a sweet, short poem about the boy you first loved. The structure was excellent and it was a quick, easy read. Nice work!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I enjoyed the read and thought you did a great job with it. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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22
22
Review of Nurse not there  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi Billy

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Positives

I really liked the surprise twist at the end of this story. It caught me off-guard and definitely kept me thinking about the story even after it was over.


Suggestions

I think a thorough proofread would help round out the piece a little, as there were several spelling/grammatical errors. I also think the ending would be just a little bit stronger if you ended on the "we don't have any male nurses on this floor" line as the very last line, rather then the penultimate line with an additional bit of dialogue after it.


Overall

Overall, this was an entertaining read. Nice job!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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23
23
Review of Dear God  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Poetess4Life

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Positives

I liked the structure and organization of this piece. In addition to a poem, it feels like it was almost structured as a mantra or a prayer that could be repeated daily or whenever the reader needs a reminder of what God is capable of. Nice work!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I thought this was a good piece. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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24
24
Review of OOPS!  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi Marushka

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Positives

I really like the message of this piece. I think too many people are concerned with never making mistakes or being perfect, and the lesson you present at the end, of using mistakes as a source of wisdom and learning something from them is a lesson we should all take to heart when things don't quite go according to plan. We often learn more from our mistakes than we do from the things we do right!


Suggestions

From a technical standpoint, the piece felt a little unfocused. It starts with an anecdote about brushing your teeth with pain gel rather than toothpaste and missing a train (i.e., an unfortunate but relatively innocuous circumstance), and then specifically say that "making mistakes might be one of your strengths."

But the examples that come after (not telling your mother that you got in trouble at school and then losing your passport on an international trip) where the lessons learned are kind of very quickly summarized at the end as "don't blindside people" and "own your mistakes." While the overall point of the piece (embrace your mistakes and learn from them) is well-taken, it felt like a common throughline to these mistakes was missing, which led to the disjointed feeling where the theme of the piece is clear, but it's less clear how these three mistakes specifically tie together and why you chose them instead of other more thematically connective mistakes.


Overall

Overall, I think you're off to a good start here. You include a bit of humor to offset the serious tone of some of the concerns, and your writing style is casual and friendly. I think there's some room for refinement, but otherwise this was a very enjoyable read. Nice work!


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Respectfully,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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25
25
Review of Found  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Christopher Day

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Positives

Nice job on this poem. I thought the message was great, and you structured everything really well. It was a solid read. Nice work!


Suggestions

No specific suggestions for improvement.


Overall

Overall, I liked this piece a lot, and thought you did a good job with it. Well done!


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Jeff Author IconMail Icon
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