This is a great start for a poem. The reader really gets drawn into this place. We feel the warmth of the sun and the repetition of "left, right" simply and effectively shows us the hammock. I really loved the line about the tips of your toes brushing the dirt. The only suggestion for improvement I have is to consider making the poem longer. There are so many ideas and images here, and a lot of implied emotion, but there isn't room for it all here. Try adding a little bit more and explore your paradise. Your readers are more than willing to continue the journey with you.
This is a fascinating poll. The composition of personality types on Writing.com is really very interesting to see. I'd have to do some research to see how it stacks up against the general population. It seems I am in the minority (ENFP). This was a very good idea. Excellent poll. Keep up the good work!
This is an incredible piece of work! I'e neer thought so much about what knowledge is. I don't know how you came up with this idea. I wish I had some suggestions or you, but I can't think o any. Keep up the good work!
Wow. This is a really good poem. The rhyme is a little sloppy, but infinitely better than anything I've written. I love the title - very creative. Please add more. Keep writing!
-Irothane
This is a great idea! You have a few grammatical errors, but I'm sure you were just a little rushed. (It happens to me all the time.)
Keep up the great work!!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jeberle
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 5:15am on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
