\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jboz
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
1 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by J Boz Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked this story. It kept my interest, and I like the name Toby Chalk.

I feel like this should be re-examined: "more-sportsmanlike people than her"

Another one that I feel needs work: "rainy summer in England to a humid summer in Florida". From the way it was written it implies contrast and places that have rainy summers tend to be fairly humid. Reading this I felt like what the character is really having trouble acclimating to is the temperature difference, not moisture level in the air.

Overall, very enjoyable.
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jboz