I thought it was clever writing, the humour was good, and i thought the sentence with the D alliteration in the second paragraph was very effective.
One of the things that i imagine could improve is the way you use sentences. Occasionly, and particularly in the first paragraph, they seemed to go on for to long and lose the point. Your use of brackets was mostly great, ading humour and personality, but one or two made the writing seem rambly, and dragged your sentence out a bit.
So i thought that maybe you could have done this better if you were a little more conscise. but thats just my opinion. On the whole it was really effective.
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