I like it. It's a very easy read. The rhythm is good. It falters in a few spots, but that in no way takes away from the poem. The flow could be tightened up a bit, but I'm not sure I would mess it. The read on this is good.
I love the line, "No, I'm not dead; My mind has just drifted. I can't help that I'm so sick and twisted."
This is wonderful. Your tale of being on the road with your dad and family. It's priceless. I could see myself looking at the mountains. Having a snack with Dad, just us.
You did a great job. I didn't find any grammar errors, the story flowed wonderfully.
I smiled all the way through and laughed at getting the hit meant for a sibling. I been there.
I love this.
I have written in the normal, at the table, my home office, sitting on the couch. But for the weirder at heart... I write in the car on road trips, I write poolside, enjoying the sun. Camping in the woods, but the oddest was when I did some of my best writing in a bar as my hubby played with the band. The hubby is singer, songwriter of the blues. I sat at the end of the bar and wrote all night long.
Oh my gosh. You been reading my diary! lol I can so relate to this from start to finish and I'm not a waitress. This works for all jobs. I've had bosses like this one and I have stopped and said "I quit."
Excellent painting of a wonderful picture of life on a daily basis.
JA Sibley
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