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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/janeka.simon
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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Tightrope  Open in new Window.
Review by Jany Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like how the tension in the short lines reflects the tension in the hanging rope.

I think this was a well-executed piece. A few critiques:

1) "hung" in the 6th line should be "hanged", since the object is a person. Luckily the substitution won't mess up your metre.

2) "and" in the 11th line should be "an". Simple typo.

Other than that, you're gravy!


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2
2
Review by Jany Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This was a great read! I loved the cheerful "do-gooding" neighbour driving your well-meaning protagonists back to the city.

The piling-on of aggravations was also well done.

Your spelling and grammar are well in order, so nothing to worry about there.

The slight bit of criticism I have is that your closing sentence could have been punchier, but I am personally not sure what to suggest. Maybe come back to the piece with fresh eyes and see if something can come to you.

Thanks for this little story, I had fun reading and reviewing it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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