\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jamisonbrown
Review Requests: ON
1 Public Reviews Given
1 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by jamisonbrown Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for the clarification, Gus... makes perfect sense. Updating the rating. Take care and keep writing. - Jamison
2
2
Review by jamisonbrown Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I liked this. The message was modern and relevant.

I didn't understand the commas in the odd numbered lines; you may have had a reason for this. Line 11 lay should be lie, I believe. Reconsider your line breaks/enjambment and stanza groupings for better readability and flow.

You shared that this is your first poem. Great start, in my opinion.

Best wishes.
2 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jamisonbrown