I really like the intense emotion put into this. It is very well written but there are a few things, the inconsistency in the length and lines in the stanzas threw me off a little bit, but at the same time gives it an almost rant like quality, a firebrand if you will. I very much enjoyed this piece, keep on writing in a free.
That is a phenominal piece! The flow is nice and I especially like the added lines in the "chourus" like stanzas. This was well written and very clearly puts across an image that is both haunting and sadly all too common. By your intro I can see that this is from something else you've written, can't wait to see it! Keep on writing in a free world!
Wow, I've read and reread this a dozen times trying to decipher a meaning. I will have to read the other three perhaps. Good stuff though, flows very nicely though the rhyming scheme confuses me a bit. Still, I can't wait to read more of your stuff! Keep on writing in a free world!
I am impressed. The rhyming structure seems a bit off in places, but the overall flow of the poem was good and I enjoyed reading it. It gives me the feeling of a tortured relationship, maybe addiction or mental health issues? I have been through this kind of relationship before except she didn't worry about any of the crimson lines she left lol. I like this a lot. Keep writing!
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