This might be your most powerful chapter yet, and that has nothing to do with magical power. I am impressed with Sawyer's response to her mother accusing her of being irresponsible. I am looking forward to seeing what happens in the next chapter. Good job.
Another excellent chapter! The more I read from you, the more I like it. I did notice a few grammatical errors, but, other than that, this was another well-written chapter. I really like how the characters respond to Sawyer's newfound powers, and I look forward to reading more.
That was fun to read. I really like the characters. However, I noticed a lot of grammatical errors that need to be addressed. I also noticed a couple of spots that were repeated. Other than that, I think this is a really good story, and I look forward to reading more.
I must say that I am really becoming a fan of yours, and of Sawyer's and Quinn's. With that being said, I really don't have anything to say about it as far as critiquing goes. This chapter is really well written. Great job. I can't wait to read the next chapter.
I want to start out by saying that there are a few grammatical errors in this chapter. I am also confused about the sentence in the paragraph where you're talking about Brighton Oaks that says "every year..." it says "the town square and three an autumn carnival" three what? Or is it supposed to be "there". I'm a little confused on that. Other than that, I loved the chapter. I look forward to reading more.
This was a good read. The plot is good. I'm interested to see if the black shirts are good guys or bad guys. As far as critiquing this work, I don't really see anything wrong with this piece. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more. Good luck.
I would like to start out by saying that I LOVE your characters. I can't wait to read more. I am definitely interested in reading more about the Celts. They seem mysterious. Other than, there was one part that confused me but I can't find it now. I can't wait to read more.
The recipe you incorporated in your memory sounds really good right now. I should have my wife try to make it, with your permission, of course. With that being said, I noticed a couple of grammatical errors you may want to look at. Otherwise, this was a good read.
I loved your play on the names. That was brilliant. You also had me laughing from beginning to end. It was very well written, although I noticed a couple grammatical errors. I loved the characters. Especially Beth. My favorite was flizwix the squirrel, though. I look forward to reading more from you.
That was beautiful. I could feel the warmth of the sweater, but, I also sensed a deep sadness from something from your character's past. Anyways, it was well written. I don't even have anything to critique in this work. Good job. Take care, and I look forward to reading more from you.
This is a great story. I was roaring in laughter from beginning to end. My ribs hurt from laughing so hard. I loved the twist at the end when it turns out that Santa was involved in sweatshops. That was great. I really have nothing to critique about
It is really well written. Great job.
This is a beautiful story so far. Other than a few grammatical errors, it is really well written.
My overall impression of this story can be summed up with one word, beautiful. It has a beautiful storyline and beautiful characters. I look forward to reading more.
Hello. This was a fascinating read. I was a bit confused in one part though. I got confused about the No Trespassing signs, so you might want to revise that. There's also a few grammatical errors you may want to look over also. Beyond that, I really enjoyed it. Have a pleasant day.
Hello. I just wanted to give you a few pointers. First, there's a couple of misspelled words. Also, I'm a little confused who the "hero" is. Otherwise, this is a good start to your story.
This is a powerful whirlwind (no pun intended) of emotions. The tension of indecisiveness is really gripping and somehow, satisfying. I am glad I came across your prologue. It gives me a good feel for how a good prologue should be, as I am new to the prologue process. Very well done.
What a tear jerker with a feel good finish. It was a great read. Are you a singer, too like Jeremy? I really like your writing style. There are a couple of spelling errors, though. Will there be more to this? If so, I really look forward to reading it. Well done.
Fantastic! I could really feel the power of emotion at work in your piece. The characters are compelling. and the dialogue was great. On than a few spelling errors (which is to be expected if you ask me.), but other than that, I look for to reading more.
That is a great start! Where do you plan to go from here, or is this as far as you are planning to go with this? I hope there's more. I'm intrigued to see what happens at the game and what happens with the people at the party who were in the picture? What goes on with John Dalton, Tom Hamilton, and Jonas Ingram?
Oh my goodness! What an amusing and crazy ending to this story. The story itself kept my interest throughout to the point where I couldn't stop reading it. I did notice a couple of misspelled words, and a couple grammar mistakes, which are easy to fix.
"Frozen for what seemed an eternity, he stood gasping and trying to see in all directions against the strobe effect of the lightning playing through the heavy menacing clouds." There should be the word "like" in between "seemed" and "an" for example.
With that said, I really enjoyed this story. Especially the ending. Keep up the good writing, and I look forward to reading more from you.
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