G. A strong heartfelt plea. A great understanding of what's gone wrong and a hope, that still we can regain our children, to the straight and narrow, but fun path. Without a proven route there can be no fun, only disregard. I love the style of your writing and as ever, with the music of a great nation playing, it brings it all the more to me, here and now.
In the first paragraph you identify something that's looking over you.
In the second you identify directly with it and ask it to remove your worries and thus lift your spirits.
Your poem then goes on to explore nature in a wonderful way, from the Sun's daily embrace through to night time and all it's hidden and private recesses.
I loved the phrase "The whole world fades away to nothing" I read and re-read your poem whilst listening to "Songs From Mother Earth" featuring Eagleheart singers & drummers. The effect was stunning and all your words suddenly started to make sense to me, as if I had a magnifying glass on them.
How the poem then continues, beautifully into a love ballad, full of where you've come from and what lies ahead, together, is wonderful.
Well done. Though I don't think you need me to tell you this. It's from the heart and from a heart that knows.
I've never done a review of a short story before and I don't personally do fantasy. However, I was captured by this. I wanted to stop reading it, but I couldn't. Once Harold got to work I felt the scenario was doomed. I don't mean for your story, I mean for Morgana and Damian.
It seemed so simple yet it was totally captivating.
Well done. You've got a new fan and I think fantasy may be on my agenda from now on.
Dorianne, That's a lovely poem, full of nature and surrealism and childlike grace and a great acrostic poem to boot. The wonder is well felt in the words and then you remember to look for the acrostic element and there it is again, perfect. Do you think Returning might be a better scan word, just a thought.
This is to me, a very subtle poem. Not giving all it's information up straight away. You need to read it a number of times, allowing it to sink in. But, it does very eloquently tell me how you would like to roll back to better times, or at least have a clear out and now move on, into a fresh, new realm of your life. Really a beautiful poem, with excellent near-rhymes and rhymes. Well done. I loved it.
The wonder of how these butterflies, and/or moths develop, and the transformation that actually takes place, is captured here beautifully. Along with a hint of a short, poignant, review of their life. Or, is this about a young person, going through a similar transformation, as hopefully we all have.
Sometimes it's not about understanding, it's about how a piece of work touches you.
I like the way the three parts of the poem are each distinct, yet together form the whole. The exploration of this subject is rarely done and this is a very succinct review of what is the ultimate point of all our knowledge. Everything after death is unknown and so must be made up or not thought about. You've done it proud.
Beautiful words, finely crafted into a wonderful poem. I can feel the embrace of nature to one of it's own and the embrace of nature by one of it's own. I particularly like the expression of an internal religion, as opposed to any that man may conjure up.
At first reading I felt like I'd taken off and was flying down. After second reading I felt the initial stillness of death watching, ready to strike. The kill was brill, but I wasn't totally happy with death being after the tearing, swallowing.
However, a fantastic poetic capture of one of nature's daily, but magnificent events. Nice one.
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