Let me start by saying that I love the concept. Metaphorically speaking, it created a vision of a once white angel, now clad in grey, crying as it looked down at earth.
Poetically wise, I think it could use a bit of fine tuning. For instance it's obvious that it's a free-verse written poem. However in my personal opinion I feel that if a poem is not based on a set format that the poem itself, should not be a mix on non-rhyming & rhyming. Because it henders the flow of the poem.
~Example~
In the first 4 lines, it seemed to have a rhyme pattern; but careful observence shows that it is not the intended {ABCB-} but rather with a continued flow. (rain/came). Also the 3rd & 4th lines almost seem to me as though they don't belong, because to me the poem starts by saying it's almost a mystery of where the rain comes from-which is fine-except that the rest of the poem is a beautiful enlightenment of how the rain got there-(by an angel crying tears of sadness).
------>I didn't notice any grammar mistakes-probably because I'm not very good at noticing it in my own writes not mention others. <---------
!!!NOW MY FAVORITE PART OF THE PIECE!!!
ALL THIS--------->
The tears that fall
from the angel's face
come down to us
as rain in its place.
So let's stop all the violence, <---(read note below)
the rage and the war. <--genius, sure genius.
About that sunshine?
We want to see more. <--A perfect end that lets the---
---reader think on after it is read---
ONE MORE NOTE
----------------<-------------------->---------------
I definately think the 4th line from the bottom could be shortened into perfection---
~Example~ Time to stop the violence--(I still think the reader will get the assumption your talking about mankind in general.)
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