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Review of Dementia  Open in new Window.
Review by WildThing Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Wow...! Nice prose, good description, plot shows promise, the title could be better- but that's probably a personal preference. What I would like you to do is highlight Helen's name and the word, "SHE" and then see how many times you have those listed. You may want to consider replacing some of those with descriptions. For example, I'm not sure how old she is or what she looks like.
By writing in active voice vs passive voice, should fix the problem.

Looking forward to more. Update soon!
~Wild
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