Hi! I love this poem. I think this puts the complications of being gender-queer or trans or anything else into words beautifully. While I am not gender-queer or anything, I am a member of the LGBTQ society, and I have enough trans friends to know how to respect them. I can relate to, respect, and agree with everything in this poem.
Thanks for sharing!
-Erin
Wow, a very descriptive poem. Though short and simple, it describes not a battle between good and evil, but the core difference between good and evil, as well as the gray area between, and your place in it. Your poem truly made me think about where my place was.
Good job!
-Erin
First off, very nice poem. I find I can relate to what you have written, and isn't the point of writing to make the reader relate and feel what is written? I love the fact that it's written in second person. It makes me think that you, or the speaker of the poem, are actually talking to me, and it really made me think about myself. "Maybe you did the hurting/Said things with venom and scorn" especially made me connect with the poem, because there have been several times when I looked back on an argument and realized I had been insulting or snapping at them more than they had to me.
Now, onto the more technical side: I didn't notice any typos, so you're doing great there. I liked the sparse punctuation, as it put a special pause after the question: "But isn't it a bit too bright?" I would recommend yo put in a bit more here and there, such as some commas or maybe a "...". But not too many, because as I said, the sparseness of it is what makes it special.
Great job!
-Erin
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