I really loved reading that little short story. Elena soon did vivid and real sexy. "It's the ones you see at the last minute," who are so seductive and make you think to yourself, "What if..?" Here, I loved the fantasy and how it seemed that it was over regarding any continuation due to the plane crash.
It was great suspense to discover that they could not identify all the survivors of the wreckage. The reader thinks, Hey maybe Elena was not even aboard the plane in the first place.
When she walks in from the elegant car, you are flabbergasted, but then you find out it is Laras the twin. Great twist. True, "When one door closes, another door opens." If you are inclined a juicy part two could well be at hand!
Nice job!
This introductory chapter was coherent and by the third or fourth paragraph had me wondering if this encounter would become more lascivious. As I read the subsequent follow up on their meeting at the bus stop the attire of both the narrator and possibly the sultry woman were clearly stated. They were described in a pretty visual manner. I am no professional critic, nor do I want o be here. Simply my reason for writing the following is to bring up what might be more of an effort at bringing up suspense.
Since I have not read any subsequent chapters having run into this one, my suggestion (to be taken with a grain of salt or more if you so desire) is that I'd use a little more "harder core erotic" terms or vivid details surrounding the woman's physical attributes. Her body? Tits, breasts, or perhaps use some stronger language about her "bottom" as you put t. The woman's ass, or would that be too crass-pun intended. The female's anatomy is so "hot" as you are portraying it in this introduction that one might seek out a bit more juiciness.
Now I have no idea whatsoever what you followed up with after the beginning, but that is my two cents. I'd like to read further, and so will search this out since it is an intriguing start!
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