It has a sense of humor to it, definitely. There are parts that make it relatable to others, which makes it a joy to read. It was a good short piece with a sort of casual moral to it. I enjoyed this story, even if i picked it as a random read. Good work!
You're vocabulary is amazing but i feel as it's a little too much. People in the real word today, will be turned off by this kind of wordage. Within the first line, it kind of makes it not as enjoyable to read. It is a beautiful poem though. If you can't thoroughly understand it, it may confuse your readers. I hope you understand my critisism and know that it is purely for you to build on.
It's definitely interesting to say the least. I find a certain tangibility with your word that I can almost tough. Although, words are such that cannot be handled, the world that they put us in, can always be. You have a great skill with words and my favorite part was "the opaque liquid swallowed her finger whole." It creates a great deal of imagery that I enjoy.
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