You did a nice job developing the charecters here- I think you did an especially nice job with Allison. You also have a good knack for developing people that readers feel sympathy for; believe me, having sorted thru some of the other stories on here, that is a great gift to have. The only thing I would really suggest is expanding a bit, and letting the reader see what happens with Allison. Also, work her job into it a little more- I think you have a veritble untapped gold mine in that drab office building.
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