The cartoon theme at the outset is an interesting direction to take with your poem.
However, the rhymes seem a little forced, particularly in the first and third paragraphs. You may want to reconsider the use of Deanna's bananas, come up with a more indicative item for the sake of comparison and use a different character name for rhyme.
Keep up with your poetry, and don’t give up. The more you write, the better you’ll find your voice.
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