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Review of Laying So Close  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
The cartoon theme at the outset is an interesting direction to take with your poem.

However, the rhymes seem a little forced, particularly in the first and third paragraphs. You may want to reconsider the use of Deanna's bananas, come up with a more indicative item for the sake of comparison and use a different character name for rhyme.

Keep up with your poetry, and don’t give up. The more you write, the better you’ll find your voice.
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