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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gritcase
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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Tim Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.5)
Firstly this story or whatever you'd prefer to call it is one long run on sentence. Punctuation and grammer is important if you'd like for your work to be readable so i'd recommend a bit of work on that. As for the emoticons, I personally don't think they are appropriate in literature because your job as an author is to fill the audience with emotion through words, not images. The material is humorous though and holds promise, just work on the format and you'll be "gravy".
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Review of FIGURE IT OUT  Open in new Window.
Review by Tim Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.0)
To me you just used a bunch of various words that I assume relate to love. The problem to this, if my assumption is correct, is that many words that you used don't necessarily relate to love. For example, " Suck it" or "Weed it" aren't factors that one would relate to love. As for the premise of this being poetry it doesn't have a constant or even visable dynamic rhyme scheme. This is experimental to me, i'm not saying experimental poetry has no promise, just work on it to be a bit more...valuable in the words you use. Good luck next time, every writer has works that he/she won't appreciate in the future. Hopefully this differs from your future works.
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