I don't know what I'd do if my best friend were to die. I know I'd have to go on with my life, but I just can't imagine it. We don't see each other as often as we did when we were younger, but I know she's there if I need her and vice versa.
I gave this piece a 5 rating. I found no typos or misspelled words and it reads smoothly.
You've talked about something I've given a lot of thought to. Once again, I seem to be in a rut. When I think back over the years, I see that has happened over and over.
In times past, I was afraid of change. But for now, that's not the problem. I just need to find a way to make changes.
This little poem is written well. I found no typos or misspelled words in it. The words and verses flow smoothly. You held my interest from beginning to end.
This is a switch from the way most of the poetry I've written tonight; from the deceased's point of view.
Thanks for sharing this with us. I really enjoyed reading it. When I saw who I was reviewing, I sighed a breath of relief, because I knew I'd probably find no mistakes.
I know you cherish the purple afghan.
I really appreciate the part where you shared fond memories and had a good time after the funeral. That's the way it should be.
This is beautiful. I would like to make a suggestion that I think would make it look and read better. Each line that actually begins another sentence would look better if capitalized, I think. However, I'm not that good at poetry, so I could be wrong about it.
I can certainly identify with this. I've already raised my children and now they have children of their own.
My two youngest grandchildren have been spending a lot of time with me recently. I was thinking the other day about I use to get down in the floor and play with my children. Somehow, I just haven't bee able to do this with Noah and Kellie. Then 7 year old Noah asked me to start back having the grandchildren's Bible Club. It dawned on me that Noah, 4 year old Kellie and I could do this.
I immediately started making a game out of learning about the Bible. It seemed that getting these children interested in learning about God's Word stirred up something in me that had apparently been sleeping for awhile. I want to study and learn from God's Word again with these precious children.
Wow! I got carried away. I was trying to suggest that you find ways to make learning fun for yourself and the children. (The only problem is, you might too excited at bedtime to go to sleep; you'll be thinking of more games and things to play and learn.
The waiting was the hardest on her as she listened to the nurses’ shuffle around outside the door.
“Right now, the morphine has allowed her to rest comfortably and that’s about all that can we can do right now.” <--You began and ended this sentence with the words right now. I think it would sound ok if you left of the first one.
I've noticed some run-on sentences. You might want to read this aloud and check for run-on sentences and also be sure you've used punctuation marks at the end of each sentence.
This is a very interesting and touching story. However, there are a lot of typographical errors that need to be corrected. This takes away from the story.
With the errors corrected, I think you'll have a perfect story.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
Oh, how mMomma hated that term!When using the word momma as her title, it should be capitalized.
Anna sighed exasperated at her sister's inability to grasp the situation. “
if you think your<--This should be a contraction meaning you are, thus it should have an apostrophe for example you're making a mistake Anna,
tiny studio apartment you were living in and explained what was happening at dad's.
This is so beautiful. We should all remember not only our men and women in service, but also those left behind.
Not long ago, I had a little Bible Club with my grandchildren and some of their friends. Two of these kids (brothers) had a dad, an uncle and a cousin in Irag at the same time. I could really see a change in these little boys once their loved ones left the states.
I suppose this is a good survey. I often wonder why we have certain surveys unless it's going to help with one of our activities or some type writing that needs research.
You asked some fairly good questions.
I probably need to visit your port and read some of your writings.
I had to give this one a 5 rating. You have hit the nail on the head here. I don't understand where Christians are coming from when they do this to other Christians. I'm not going to say they are not Christians, but I am saying they can't be following the leadership of the Holy Spirit.
You've done a good job writing this piece. I found no typos or misspelled words.
The words in it are heartbreaking.
I wonder if you maybe have a short story in your port about this, or would it be too painful to write about? It leaves the reader wondering how Jeffery lost his life.
This is a beautiful poem. It has so much truth in it.
However, you need to edit this and make a few small changes. Anytime you're speaking of God, (this is His name), capitalize it. When using he, him, etc. and speaking of God, you should capitalize He, Him, etc.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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