Very descriptive! I could almost taste the chocolate myself. Is this vignette part of a series or is it stand alone? With your styleof writing you could easily build a whole series based around the silver box.
This was nicely done, although I don't think the graphic or the bold type add to the story, and at times are distracting. Keep up the good work! I must now go find some chocolate!
This is a sweet metaphor, but I don't think its thought out in its entrirety. Your descriptions make it as if love is like a song and life is like a dance. Either way it makes for a fascinating thought and I could see this being developed into a full story with underlying metaphor.
This is a great story and, as you claimed, it is even better on the second reading! I like that you never outright state that the Sentry is a dog, but rather rely on the reader's intelligence to pull all the clues together. That being said you might want to throw in a more "doggie" term at the end for chow, such as "puppy chow" or Kibbles and Bits. While I understand that you were talking about a dog, I did have to read the last few paragraphs twice (three times total) to make sure I was correct.
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