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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gocartcherub
Review Requests: OFF
28 Public Reviews Given
163 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very descriptive! I could almost taste the chocolate myself. Is this vignette part of a series or is it stand alone? With your styleof writing you could easily build a whole series based around the silver box.

This was nicely done, although I don't think the graphic or the bold type add to the story, and at times are distracting. Keep up the good work! I must now go find some chocolate! *Laugh*
2
2
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a sweet metaphor, but I don't think its thought out in its entrirety. Your descriptions make it as if love is like a song and life is like a dance. Either way it makes for a fascinating thought and I could see this being developed into a full story with underlying metaphor.
3
3
Review of Starship Sentry  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Laugh* This is a great story and, as you claimed, it is even better on the second reading! I like that you never outright state that the Sentry is a dog, but rather rely on the reader's intelligence to pull all the clues together. That being said you might want to throw in a more "doggie" term at the end for chow, such as "puppy chow" or Kibbles and Bits. While I understand that you were talking about a dog, I did have to read the last few paragraphs twice (three times total) to make sure I was correct.
4
4
Rated: E | (3.5)
Lol what a hilarious moment! Did you go back for the money? Did you ever see her again?
5
5
Review of At Last  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This will be included in next week's drama newsletter. Great symbolism!
6
6
Review of Unrelenting Rain  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Excellent! I will be using this in next week's drama newsletter! Thanks for such a poignant piece.
7
7
Review of Into the Light  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Very effective story, I like the flashbacks interlaced with reality. This will be featured in this week's drama newsletter.
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gocartcherub