I really like the thought behind this poem. I actually identified with the first three verses. I understand you are sending a message; however I hope you spoke up and defended yourself because there is help for everything out there.
Okay, so I have such a dirty mind! But truly if it really is about about milk then you came to the right cattle ranchers daughter, it takes me back to a sad/ happy memory for me, and I really appreciate that. I will never drink fresh milk in my hang over fresh off bringing in cattle in my hungover state after watching my auntie and mama fight over blue milk... give me Coors light in my cheerios any day of the week.
Pretty amusing. I like the thoughtfulness behind the fact that it is a completely viable solution to the world creation... and pokes fun at organized religion. This piece to me signifies that the the catholic church may be ruled by money??
I find this interesting and disjointed as though an animal is thinking. I believe animals have random happy thoughts like this, however; it would be interesting what six lines you would come up with that would portray an actual wild animals thoughts for a day, including threat and dusk.
This is a great little short. I think my one complaint is in the last line and it may be a matter of opinion, however; "...days I must endure until Philippe and his squad returns or a rescue ship arrives." Returns should be return and I feel there should be a comma after even though it is not grammatically necessary.
This is WOW! I can not tell you how well thought out and written this story is. I find the dialogue well thought out and the plot is equally intriguing. I truly enjoyed this short and will be tapping your profile to see what happens next if anything, or if you are done with this line.
I think there is great potential here! I can see a few grammatical errors and if you would like I can point them out, but some people are sensitive to this. Otherwise liking the story and e4specially liking the friendly... or maybe not to friendly challenge.
Cheers,
Gen
I agree f*** this month. It is truly hard to lose a Grandma, my own Grandmother was here 5 years ago this month and honestly I talk about her all the time, thankfully both my children knew her well.
I feel your despair, but honestly I try to only remember the cool things about her. Hopefully you will remember the great times with your Grandma.
Cheers,
Gen
I think that there is the makings of a good story here, however; I find the flow of the story a bit disjointed. I also think the story skips around a bit and I wish there was more details in the actual surroundings.
Cheers,
Gen
I like the beginning of the story; however; I feel like the introduction of characters is stunted and is hard to trace, otherwise I wouldn't pay for the next chapter but I would definately read more!
Cheers,
Gen
Okay you kinda super cute and totally my life until this stupid ass Pandemic, and honesty I am so guilty of your poem, however; I'm not proud of my house which looks clean but isnt...LMAO
I just got a job today and I'm writing, hilarious that I haven't worked for almost ten months and haven't written anything and the day I get a job offer I have poetry and smut to write about... life is funny.
G42
Super heavy.
Its good and raw, but I feel the story is to raw if your intentions were an emotional dump and bringing me to tears you did a great job, but it isn't a story anyone can grab onto. I love the rawness, I often do the same, and so thank you.
G42
Man I wish it was that simple now... Stupid, stupid, stupid COVID-19 pandemic, nobody can enjoy a simple weekend like that anymore, however; we can all remember how good it used to be with our families.
Thank you for the the good time memories.
G42
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But truly if it really is about about milk then you came to the right cattle ranchers daughter, it takes me back to a sad/ happy memory for me, and I really appreciate that. I will never drink fresh milk in my hang over fresh off bringing in cattle in my hungover state after watching my auntie and mama fight over blue milk... give me Coors light in my cheerios any day of the week.
I thought I had it figured out, but who knew the dog was the other accomplice? I do have to say that I find the line;