I really enjoyed reading this little story, it was warm and fuzzy! I particularly liked your explanation of how the tumble dryer smell would be appealing to the sock monster. Comparing it to the smell of your favorite meal being cooked really gives the reader something they will know to relate to.
I love your voice, the story flows really well and it sounds like a friendly familiar voice telling the story. In my opinion though it doesn't sound like a child speaking. It is the sort of logic a child may use and does sound like a child's story but its not how a child would speak. A few of the words you have used like commute and elaborate would not be words a child would use. I always find, when writing from a child's perspective, that its not as important to get caught up on proper English as it is to really get in touch with the voice of a child. It might help to have a specific age of child in mind and really listen to the way they speak.
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