Seriously one of the creepiest things I have ever heard. Bravo....Your descriptions are wonderful and take me right into the story. So seriously, this was true???
What wonderful way of setting the scene. I feel like I can see this older woman and she is someone I might know. You did a really good job and I enjoyed reading it.
This peaked my interest. I wanted to know more. I felt your sentences were sometimes a little overcrowded, but over all it was a very good piece and the beginning for a good story. The longer you wrote, I felt like you were more sure in your words and it seemed to flow better. Again I would like to see where the story goes...
I liked your use of emotion with your words. The first two paragraphs were wonderful. Maybe it's just me, but the length of each paragraph was offsetting. I felt like I was being rushed reading through it. The story is very sweet.
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