\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ganesh
Review Requests: OFF
187 Public Reviews Given
187 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 ... Next
1
1
Review of Mirror  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
That's not mirror acrostic.
2
2
Review of Two Lovebirds  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tim Chiu Author IconMail Icon

This is a very nice poem on love. I don't know if I can evaluate it correctly or not, for I was never a successful lover. Yet, blessed as I am with a poetic heart, let me have a try. I personally found this poem very interesting and well written. It speaks of love, spirituality, beauty of nature and of god at the same time. It portrays divine love as an act by our all knowing creator. This is an adorable piece of work.

ABOUT THE FORM:

This poem is written in free verse. There are no rhyming lines in poem, but there certainly are some internal rhymes. This makes the poem sound good to the readers' ears. Flow of the poem is smooth and ending is very nice. Well done.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect. *Smile*

TITLE:

As the title names the poem as "two lovebirds", the poem does describe divine love from the point of view of two lovers. I must say the title of this poem is wisely chosen. Keep it up.

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4.5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


no suggestions on this piece of work.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 
3
3
Review of Death  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sis Author IconMail Icon

This is a very nice poem. I liked the way you have written it. Within a few lines you have successfully given the reader an impression of what was inside your mind while writing this poem. This poem sounds a bit abstract but still even a child can understand it properly. *Smile* As a newbie you have done extremely well. Keep it up and keep writing.

ABOUT THE FORM:

this is a free verse poem. Its flow is smooth and rhythm is ok. This poem exceeds our expectations from a newbie.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect.

TITLE:

Title is nicely chosen. It just says what's there inside the poem. Well done. I couldn't think of a better title for this piece of poem.

THEME:

Death. Here you've described death as a living beast. You've described the moment of dying from a poet's perspective. I liked the ending lines the most, where you've said a shadow to be waiting for the lightening to flash. This is a very wise line for the ending of a poem. I salute your skill. *Smile*

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4.5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


no suggestions.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 
4
4
Review of A Wolf's Prayer  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
REVIEW FROM "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.
_____________________________________________

REQUESTED ON DATE: 11th April 2012
REVIEW DONE ON DATE:15 th April 2012
_____________________________________________


Hi Dorianne Author IconMail Icon

This is a nice poem, if we look at its theme and emotions only. To be frank, in case of form and grammar, this poem has many errors. Compared to the 1st poem of yours, I had reviewed, this is a dull one. We expect mush more than this from an experienced poet like you. Honestly, this poem is below your standards of writing. In the following sections I'll point out your mistakes and suggest corrections and give links to further reading sources.

ABOUT THE FORM:

This is a villanelle as the footnote suggests. The highly structured villanelle is a nineteen-line poem with two repeating rhymes and two refrains. The form is made up of five tercets followed by a quatrain. The first and third lines of the opening tercet are repeated alternately in the last lines of the succeeding stanzas; then in the final stanza, the refrain serves as the poem's two concluding lines. Using capitals for the refrains and lowercase letters for the rhymes, the form could be expressed as: A1 b A2 / a b A1 / a b A2 / a b A1 / a b A2 / a b A1 A2. This poem does follow this trend of rhyme and refrain.

But there are more features of villanelle, where this poem of yours utterly fails. Villanelle poems are supposed to have a fixed syllabic structure. Usually villanelle poems are written in lines of 12 syllables length. But here the second refrain line is of 13 syllables. For this line I have a suggestion. Just use "can't" instead of "cannot". That will make it. But this was not the only line with an abnormal length, almost half of your lines deviate from the structure.Rather than writing them in a paragraph, I am pointing out those lines in a list format below.
LINE-3:13 syllables
LINE-5:14 syllables
LINE-7:14 syllables
LINE-8:15 syllables
LINE-9(same as line-3):13 syllables
LINE-10:19 syllables
LINE-11:14 syllables
LINE-13:18 syllables
LINE-14:17 syllables
LINE-15(same as line-3):13 syllables
LINE-16:15 syllables
LINE-17:18 syllables
LINE-19(same as line-3):13 syllables

Look thirteen lines out of 19 are of incorrect length. You must rewrite this poem. I understand that writing a villanelle is very tough, I, myself, had tried it once in vain. But yet, I must say, as an elder poet whatever you write, you must try to write perfectly. Your poems are not supposed to fluctuate from perfection just for syllabic constraints.

Villanelle is usually written on romantic themes. You have experimented a change. That's certainly welcome. Without experimentation literature can hardly progress. I appreciate your efforts.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No spelling-mistake I could find. The punctuations are also perfect. But in case of grammar I found 4 errors. In line-7 you have written In spring comes helpless babies, who the pack must educate.. Here the verb come is in relation to babies not spring. Hence, it must be "come" and not comes. So, the correct line should be " In spring come helpless babies, who the pack must educate.

In line-10 you have written We help nature to balance when the other animals over populate.. You should keep it in mind that to is not used after help. Hence the correct line should be "We help nature balance when the other animals over populate.".

In line-11 you have written ...hunters would us greedily deny.. I must say you should not ignore grammar for just some rhyming words. The above line has no meaning, I think. It should have been hunters would greedily deny us.

In line-18 you have written .I say that the world is for all and in harmony we should occupy.. The verb occupy always comes with an object. Here, you have given no object for the same verb. I may ask you "what?", your sentence would be unable to answer. I think you should have used stay instead of occupy.

In your next attempt, please give more attention to grammar.

TITLE:

This title, certainly, matches the theme of your poem. You have written it from the point of view of a wolf and written it as a prayer to god. Hence the title is surely justified. This is also an attractive title that attracts the readers' curiousness compelling them to read your poem. keep it up. Thumbs up for this.

THEME:

Theme is sadness and concern, from the point of view of a wolf. You have written it from the perspective of a wolf. So you must stick to your perspective throughout your poem. I mean, as you have written it as a wolf all the emotions and concerns you have described in this poem must be wolfish also. But as you can see, line-10 and 13 sound scientific, which are rather humane than wolfish. You should have written things which a wolf is likely to understand and pray if given a voice. Otherwise the theme is awesome. I enjoyed your writing style. You have presented the concerns of a wolf in a systematic manner. That's a positve point of yoyr poem. Keep it up.

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 3.5 stars. To be frank, your poem deserved 3, but as you are an experienced poet and I know the level of your skill from your previous poem, I think, this poem might be written in hurry. And we are sure that after certain reworks, this poem will be able to grab a 5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:

I have given a number of suggestions above. You may like to check http://www.shadowpoetry.com and http://www.poets.org before proceeding. I would like you to check my poem "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.. Keep writing and never let your efforts die.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group.You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon.You can also visit MY BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group which this review is affiliated to nor any other person ( if mentioned in this review ) will not remain responsible for any kind of inconvenience.

BEST WISHES.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window..
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
5
5
Review of Ode to Voldemort  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi irregular_onion Author IconMail Icon
I await a poem titled 'ode to peeves' from you. *Smile* And yeah, give some respect to you-know-who. Don't compare him with edward.
You forgot to mention you know who's spider like fingers and icy voice .
This is a very nice and funny piece of poem. I liked your description of voldemort's nose and the stanza about him using contact lenses. I laughed till my stomach ached. Keep it up. Keep writing. 5 stars for making me laugh.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 
6
6
Review of I am Captain  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
REVIEW FROM "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.
_____________________________________________

REQUESTED ON DATE: 11th April 2012
REVIEW DONE ON DATE: 12th April 2012
_____________________________________________


Hi Dorianne Author IconMail Icon
This is a very nice poem indeed. I, myself, enjoy poems of this kind very much. This is a poem written in a quite tough form to express the poet's understanding of life's philosophy in a symbolic way. We'll discuss more about the features of this poem in the following sections.


ABOUT THE FORM:

This is a Rondeau. The rondeau began as a lyric form in thirteenth-century France, popular among medieval court poets and musicians. Named after the French word for "round," the rondeau is characterized by the repeating lines of the rentrement, or refrain, and the two rhyme sounds throughout. The form was originally a musical vehicle devoted to emotional subjects such as spiritual worship, courtship, romance, and the changing of seasons. To sing of melancholy was another way of using the rondeau.

Here your poem does follow the syllabic scheme and rhyme scheme of the form precisely. But as I have stated above, this form of poetry is quite devoted to the beauty of nature and human emotions. But you have not shown much images of nature in this poem. But, I , certainly, can see that you have used a bit of deep melancholy in the second stanza of your poem. These two lines are my favorite lines from the second stanza.
As winds blow hard I see sails rip
My courage faces each hardship.

The refrain of your poem sings the central idea behind your poem and the rondeau does revolve around the refrain. Repeating a certain line at certain places in a poem without obstructing its flow nor its meaning is definitely a tough thing to do, but you, being an experienced poet, certainly have made it. I do respect your skill.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No spelling-mistake I could find. The punctuations are also perfect. But I reckon, lines 2,4,11 and 13 should start with capital letters. I think, separate lines, whether they continue the same sentence or not, must begin with capital (block) letters.

And I think, there is a simple error in the refrain line. It should be "the captain" rather than "captain". I can understand that you have written it to meet the syllabic needs of the form, but I must say only the syllabic limits of a form must not hinder the emotions, flow and correctness of your poems. Well, a nice grammar is an essential feature of an awesome piece of work. You have done certainly well, though not exactly perfect. Keep working towards perfection, THUMBS UP. *Smile*

TITLE:

The title of this poem is the refrain line. This suits the form and also attracts the readers' curiosity. The title just gives an impression of the theme of the poem and doesn't give complete idea about the poem itself. This is an essential characteristic of a perfect and well written title. You have done really well here, keep it up.

THEME:

This poem speaks of human life from a philosopher's point of view. life is compared to a voyage in the sea. And life's various features are described as various thrilling experiences of a voyage.The theme and the way of expressing it are simple and understandable by readers of every class and age group.

The poem ends in positivity. It speaks of a sailors way of thinking. When in the sea, a sailor craves for peace and land. But when in the country, the sailor misses his adventures and craves for another thrilling voyage. Same is applicable for human life too. These ending lines are truely awesome.

Soon from the cup of joy I’ll sip
to toast safe harbor’s membership.
But my restless heart, with it’s sighs
starts the dream inside my old eyes.
Back out to sea and life I’ll slip,
I am captain.

Keep it up, keep writing and sharing.

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4.5 stars. The reason is obvious from the above analysis of your poem. We reserve 5 stars only for perfect pieces. And as you are an experienced poet and human, we expect more from your poems. I will be reviewing your other works soon. As I have several entrance examinations at hand, it might take a bit of time.

SUGGESTIONS:

Not much suggestions except that you should do more studies on various forms and their origins.I have written a poem with a theme quite similar to yours. I would like you to read it.
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1858217 by Not Available.

I know the rhythm of my poem is rough. But you will excuse me for that, 'cause I am not a native English speaker.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group.You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon.You can also visit MY BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group which this review is affiliated to nor any other person ( if mentioned in this review ) will not remain responsible for any kind of inconvenience.

BEST WISHES.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window..
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
7
7
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
PROMOTIONAL REVIEW FROM "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.
_____________________________________________

REQUESTED ON DATE: ----
REVIEW DONE ON DATE: 11th April, 2012
_____________________________________________


Hi Elisiabetta Gabriella Author IconMail Icon
This is a nice little poem. You have tried very well to write a haiku. And as a newbie you, certainly, have done very well. But still there are several shortcomings in your poem, which I would like to point out. I'll also give you some suggestions to improve your work. We will discuss more about your poem and its features and shortcomings in the following sections.


ABOUT THE FORM:

This is a haiku, as the title suggests. It indeed follows the syllabic scheme of a haiku i.e. less than 5,7,5 syllables in first, second and third lines respectively. But just sticking to a syllabic scheme does not make a true haiku. There are other rules and customs which are to be followed by a true haiku. Haiku is usually written to give the reader an impression of the beauty of nature. When a poem is written on a theme other than nature, like politics or human nature or any occasion, in the same form as of a haiku, that poem is known as senryu. So I reckon, your poem falls in the category of senryu. Still let me give you a brief idea on haiku.

In a haiku, the poet usually uses a seasonal reference word, though it's not strictly necessary to use a seasonal word. Secondly a haiku must give a vivid imagery, most often two vivid juxtapositioned images to give an impression or idea to the reader. You've tried well to give images, but I feel your effort could have been better. What you've given is information, on which your reader has to imagine the image. But you should give an image, from which your reader would make out the information. Let me give a simple example. Let's assume you've to convey the death of somebody, you can write ' I attended his funeral, smokes were swirling above his pyre. ' This gives the reader complete information, on which he imagines the image of a funeral. But if you write 'returning home, his room in chaos... Paintings on bare floor... Haunting blankness inside the walls...', this gives the reader an vivid image from which he has to figure it out that the occupant of the room has died. Another point is that haiku speaks of one moment, not the past nor the future, just the present moment.
GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:
No spelling mistake I could find. The punctuations need to be corrected. You've used ellipsis( ... ) at the end of all lines. But you should keep it in mind that ellipsis is used only in case of omissions. Here your sentences continue in the next lines without omitting anything. Hence use of ellipsis is not correct in this case. This line should end without any punctuation mark. If you want to use any punctuation mark to give the reader an impression that the sentence continues in the next line, you should use a hyphen (-). That is the correct way of representing it. Well, good grammar and correct spellings are valuable assets of an awesome poem. You have done well in this field. I admire your skill.
TITLE:
You have given the date of the independence day and the name of the form you have used. But as I have said, it ought to be a senryu.
THEME:
Independence day celebration, of course. 
RATING:
As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 3.5 stars. The cause is obvious from the above analysis of your poem.
SUGGESTIONS:
As I have given my suggestions to improve your poem above, I'll tell you about some other forms of haiku here. The first type is senryu, as I have mentioned. It's syllabic structure is same as haiku, but it's more liberal on themes and it generally reflects upon philosophy, politics, humour and human nature. Another form is chain haiku. Here the poet writes several individual haiku in a sequence that tells a complete story. Chain senryu is also a nice form to write. You can visit http://shadowpoetry.com to gain more information on various forms. I am giving one chain haiku by me below. I would like you to visit it.
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1852733 by Not Available.


ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group.You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon.You can also visit MY BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group which this review is affiliated to nor any other person ( if mentioned in this review ) will not remain responsible for any kind of inconvenience.

BEST WISHES.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window..
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
8
8
Review of On Seventh Day  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
REVIEW FROM "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.
Requested on: 5th april 2012
Review done on: 10th april '12

Hi tlsea Author IconMail Icon
This is a nice poem indeed. You've done extremely well in writing this piece. It shows a happier shade in the beginning and a sad shade in the end. But the two colors of life are blended perfectly well in the course of this poem. The poem goes on smoothly and ends with a positive image. This ending makes your poem an awesome piece of work. We'll discuss more about it in the following sections.

ABOUT THE FORM:

This is written in rhyming couplets. There are thirty lines in total, written in fifteen couplets. The rhyming is perfect, except for the tenth couplet. Here you have used two words wind and friend which do not exactly rhyme. These two words sound quite similar but in all other couplets you have used words which rhyme with each other perfectly well. Hence it's natural that the readers would expect perfect rhymes from you throughout the poem. Therefore I suggest you to use two perfectly rhyming words in the concerned (tenth) couplet.
Again, as you've tried to write your poem in lines of uniform length, you should have followed a strict syllabic scheme. Twelve lines out of thirty of your poem consist of ten syllables each. 6 lines are of nine syllables, 3 lines are of eight syllables, 7 lines are of eleven syllables and 2 lines are of twelve syllables. As we can see, the average of the lengths of your lines is ten syllables, I suggest, you should have written your poem with lines of ten syllable lengths. That would have made your poem sound good to the readers' ears. But as your lines differ in length throughout the poem, some of them sound long and some sound short. In your next attempt you must try to follow a strict syllabic scheme.
Another important feature of poetry is meter. The meter of your poem is rough at places. You should have tried to write your couplets in iambic pentameter. That would have made your poem sound very smooth and classical. You have spoken of angels, souls and heaven in your poem. So a bit of classical touch would have made it more enjoyable. I don't stictly say that meter is essential in this poem. Meter would have made it better, but still it's a good poem without meter and what I value is your attempt to write a smooth, rhyming, meaningful poem. Thumbs up for that.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No spelling mistake I could find. Grammar is also perfect. Punctuations are also perfect except for the 28th line. You've used ellipsis( ... ) at the end of the concerned line. But you should keep it in mind that ellipsis is used only in case of omissions. Here your sentence continues in the next line without omitting anything. Hence use of ellipsis is not correct in this case. This line should end without any punctuation mark. If you want to use any punctuation mark to give the reader an impression that the sentence continues in the next line, you should use a hyphen (-). That is the correct way of representing it. Well, good grammar and correct spellings are valuable assets of an awesome poem. You have done well in this field. I admire your skill.

TITLE:

The title speaks of a precise day. And this day plays a significant role throughout the poem. In simple words your poem revolves around that day in the title. The title is truely justified. And using such an unusual title for a poem attracts readers too. Keep it up.

THEME:

This is a narrative poem. The poet sings of the life story of an angelic child. This is more like a ballad. But ballads are essentially written in fixed syllabic schemes and iambic meter. This poem fails to fulfil these two conditions for a ballad. Yet it's theme is very close to those of usual and classical ballads. The narration of the change of age in the 2nd half of the poem serves as a smooth transition. The ending is the most awesome part of it. It gives a positive image of angels playing with toy trains, that connects your souls with the child's divine one. This symbolic representation is the best feature of your poem.

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4.5 stars. The cause of this rating is obvious from above.

SUGGESTIONS:


Just never let your efforts die ...

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 
9
9
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi RBatz Author IconMail Icon
yes, this ain't no song, but a pain clad letter from the burning heart of a failed lover to his beloved. It's nicely written to show your emotions clearly. But, I think it's more a letter and less a poem, leave alone the song thing. You've just written your feelings in a straight way, with no poetic features. We'll discuss about it in the following sections.

ABOUT THE FORM:

It's free verse. But at some places it rhymes. Internal rhymes are also good. Rhythm is upto your emotions and ok. But the thing is, it's, still, not a perfect poem. This emotions of heart break could have been expressed in a better poetic way rather than this kind of straight forward letter form. You could have used imagery, elements from nature and many other things to express your emotions.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

Apparently no mistakes. Punctuations are quite perfect.

TITLE:

Title of this poem speaks of a thousand things. But the poem is, honestly, not that awesome upto the title.

THEME:

Heart break. It does occure to almost every body, but a few write it in form of poems. You should be proud that you belong to those few people. But the way you've said that she will regret and remember and wish to come back, could have been better and more poetic. I'll be giving you some links to some other poems on heart break, which've used better poetic ways to express the same feelings. All you need is more and more experience with poetry. I am sure that you've got the talent and experience will certainly improve your writing a lot.

RATING:

As I am quite impressed with your work for your courage and frankness in expressing your emotions, I am giving it 4 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


Read some of shakespear's blank verses and sonnets for a start. That'll give you ample ideas on writing better poems on heart break.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 
10
10
Review of Pure Imagination  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Tim Chiu Author IconMail Icon
Awesome. A truely abstract poem. This the best among the poems by you, I've read untill now. Well done. Keep writing.

ABOUT THE FORM:

Free verse. Nice use of end rhymes and internal rhymes. Rhythm is pleasurable and awesome. This poem is really a nice thing to read aloud. Thumbs up.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect.

TITLE:

Yeah, it does give the reader ample scope of pure imagination. Here, in this poem, you've used strong and vivid imagery and in fact here images are representing your thoughts clearly.

THEME:

Abstract and philosophical. It talks of human's desires, reasonable or unreasonable... The poem revolves around the line of thoughtful whims, desire. . This is the line I like the most. The beginning of the poem is also good. It introduces the theme from the tale of the princess and the frog. At places you've used opposing ideas together, entangling them with each other, to create a nice effect. I admire your skill.

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


No suggestions for this poem. It's awesome on its own.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
11
11
Review of Butterfly  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Princess Zelda Author IconMail Icon
You know what, I am giving it 5 stars. Say hello to your niece from me. She'll certainly emerge as a talented poet, I feel. It's nice to stay in touch with a good poet in make, is not it?

ABOUT THE FORM:

Free verse. I used to write such little verses, when I was a kid of seven, in my native tongue of course. ( I stared writing in English just a year and half ago.) This poem made me feel truely nostalgic. Thumbs up.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are missing though. ( No one should pay strict attention to grammar and spelling here, I think. )

THEME:

A butterfly, as seen through a child's eyes. Children can sense more beauty in nature than adults. *Smile*

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:

age of your niece?

RATING:

As I am really impressed with this work,as I've said before, I am giving it 5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


nothing.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
12
12
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi bumblebee Author IconMail Icon
This is a nice poem indeed. I liked the imagery you've used in your poem. I , myself, am a painter. Painting at night is really an enjoyable experience. You've paid proper insight to it. I liked the last line of your short poem the most.

ABOUT THE FORM:

It is a short free verse. It clearly shows your insights and emotions. Well done. Keep it up.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect.

THEME:

quite philosophical...

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:

nothing

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4.5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


no need of suggestions here. This is a nice piece itself.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
13
13
Review of Ode To...  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Me Author IconMail Icon
This is a nice poem indeed. The emotional flow in this piece of work is great. It speaks of past sorrows affecting one's present, i think. This is a job well done. Thumbs up.

ABOUT THE FORM:

It is an ode. Though this is basically written in free verse, the repeatation of certain words, used wisely, gives a classic effect. I like the way you've represented a loop of your thoughts in such a small poem. I admire your skill.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect.

THEME:

Main theme is sorrow and grief.

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:

nothing

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4.5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


no suggestions needed here. This is a nice piece of work itself. I'd like you to read
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1800465 by Not Available.


ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
14
14
Review of For A Housewife  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi rubaina Author IconMail Icon
This is a nice poem. You've shown your respect towards the housewives and expressed your insights about their lives. In fact, a housewife plays various roles in a joint family, really complicated yet constructive roles. Abandoning her own desires and ambitions, she uses all her efforts and energy to serve a family, in a broader view to serve a nation. But it's a matter of shame that most of us don't pay proper respect towards them. By the way you've done well and written well. Keep it up.

ABOUT THE FORM:

It is a free verse. But rhymes are good and rhythm is smooth. Curtailment of some repeatations of certain words might give the poem a better touch.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No spelling mistake I could find. But in line-17 'contented' should be 'content' and in line-20 'aromas' should be 'aroma'. And I couldn't see a single punctuation mark throughout the poem, what's it? Is it a poem or just a collection of over flooded words?

THEME:

no need to say again.

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:

nothing

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:




ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
15
15
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi SGoyal Author IconMail Icon
Hahahaha... What's new in it man? We, Indians, read, hear, speak,feel and swear these lines almost hundred times a day, don't we? May be this piece of work will give other authors, who are not Indians, a bit of some curious feelings. But to us, this is our day to day bulls***. Only point it that you've expressed it in an innovative way. I am damn sure you'll make a famous satire poet, if you continue. Well, I hereby declare that all our politicians are morons. Alas, I ain't allowed to use my choicest swear words against them, here.

ABOUT THE FORM:

It is free verse. Still it rhymes well and gives a funny feeling.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect.

THEME:

you know, I know, every Indian knows...

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:

why the f*** should we vote ?

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:




ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
16
16
Review of Beware Apollyon  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi cpower
Extremely meaningful poem. Speaks of nuclear war, possibility of destruction and humanity. I like the way you've expressed your thoughts within the limitations of such a strict form. Keep it up. Keep writing.

ABOUT THE FORM:

It is an abcedarian poem. You've chosen to work on a difficult variation of this form. This is inverted, i.e. z to a and word-wise rather than line-wise. Writing such a meaningful poem within such strict limitations is truely difficult , only a few gifted poets can do it. You're one of those rare gifted souls. Go ahead and keep writing...

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect.

THEME:

Fear of a nuclear war, sorrows following it and words of humanity. I liked your use of symbols to create a visual effect.

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:



RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


have a look at
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1823219 by Not Available.
and give a review in return.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
17
17
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi RBatz Author IconMail Icon
Achhe likhte ho, I hope my hindi is ok. It's a shame that I don't know much hindi, though I assure you that I can understand literary works in hindi. This is a love poem, more likely a poetic letter to the 'ladki jisse tumhe pyaar hai'. Almost every lover thinks the same way you've thought of your love, nothing new here, in fact. But the way you've represented it, is certainly admirable. That's what I liked here. Keep it up. Keep writing.

ABOUT THE FORM:

It is a free verse, I think. I don't have much idea on hindi poetic forms. But the rhythm and rhyme are extremely good and this poem sings to my ears. Well done.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect. ( Provided, Hindi was not my subject at school, mine was odia, english and sanskrit. )

THEME:

love, of course. I, being a failed lover always, feel a bit envious. *Smile*

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:

kahan se ho? Facebook hai ya nahi? Hai toh 'sharpandsage' user name ko friend request bhejo.

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4.5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


nothing.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window.. I've tried to translate MADHUSHALA to english. Find it at my blog.

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
18
18
Review of Mistakes  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi tisho Author IconMail Icon
This is a nice poem indeed. I found your poem smooth, nice to read and the thought behind it very philosophical. This is a job well done. Though there are a few mistakes, i'll be pointing out, as a newbie you've done extremely well and I admire your sprit, skill and way of thinking.

ABOUT THE FORM:

It is a free verse poem. But this is not too short as I had expected, though it still remains in the short category. The used of internal rhymes is admirable. Rhythm is smooth and the poem is pleasurable to the reader's ears. Thumbs up.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No spelling mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect. But in line-4 there are two 'him' s, whereas there ought to be one ' him'. And the use of 'mother's love, child's laughter' twice makes its effect quite less than it ought to be. Otherwise everything's ok.

THEME:

Spiritual and philosophical thoughts over human life and god's role in it. I liked this theme very much.

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:

nothing

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


keep writing and try to make your efforts better than this one.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my BLOG  Open in new Window..

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
19
19
Review of JEEVAN KI MITHAAS  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi rubaina Author IconMail Icon
I admit, though it's a shame, that I don't know much Hindi. Yet I found your poem very interesting. I could understand most of it. It talks of the scenic beauty of earth and the poet enjoying this beauty like an innocent flower. It talks of a heaven hidden and found within our world. Awesome... Truely awesome.

ABOUT THE FORM:

It is quite free verse, I think. Whatever the form may be, it was pleasant, meaningful and awesome to my ears. Well done.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect. Provided my confession above.

THEME:



I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:

I've recently tried to translate the first part of 'MADHUSHALA' by Harivansh Rai Bachchan into English. Please read it at http://www.neovisiona.blogspot.com .

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


nothing

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my blog http://www.neovisiona.blogspot.com .

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
20
20
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Priyanka Bhowmick Author IconMail Icon
This is a nice haiku. I really liked the way you have written it an expressed your views. It gives the impression of a full moon night. It's a very good attempt, yet it lacks certaint points to perfection. We'll discuss about these lacks in the following sections. And I'll give you some ideas about other forms of haiku.

ABOUT THE FORM:

It is a haiku, more precisely this poem follows the syllabic scheme of haiku. But there are some other characteristics of a true haiku, this poem has some of those characteristics and lacks some of them. A haiku is generally written about a season. It's customary, I think, to use a seasonal reference word in a haiku, and your poem lacks here. To give my own opinion, I don't think a good haiku must have a season word but good feelings and emotions. And that's what I like in your poem. Secondly a haiku must give a vivid imagery, most often two vivid juxtapositioned images to give an impression or idea to the reader. You've tried well to give images, but I feel your effort could have been better. What you've given is information, on which your reader has to imagine the image. But you should give an image, from which your reader would make out the information. Let me give a simple example. Let's assume you've to convey the death of somebody, you can write ' I attended his funeral, smokes were swirling above his pyre. ' This gives the reader complete information, on which he imagines the image of a funeral. But if you write 'returning home, his room in chaos... Paintings on bare floor... Haunting blankness inside the walls...', this gives the reader an vivid image from which he has to figure it out that the occupant of the room has died.
Same thing is applicable to your poem. You've written about moon light embracing darkness directly. You should have given some passive image like daisies shining white in dark under full moon or whatever comes to your mind.
Again, opposites attract is a rule of nature not a beauty of it.
Another point is that haiku speaks of one moment, and here you've done it right. Your poem speaks of the moment it was written, not the past nor the future. Well done, thumbs up.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations also seem perfect. Keep it up. A good grammar is an important key to a successful poem. Thumbs up again.

THEME:

Beauty of nature entangled with philosophy. Nice theme to write on. Quite similar to the concept of Yin-yang. Dark and light... Opposites attract each other... Nature does obey the laws of philosophy and there are loads of examples of it. You're creative enough to see it with your inner eye and express it within the limitation of seventeen syllables. I admire your skill.

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:

I think you are form India. I am thinking of opening a group to use indian forms of poetry in english. If you like the idea, you can contact me.

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4.5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


As I have given my suggestions to improve your poem above, I'll tell you about some other forms of haiku here. The first type is senryu. It's syllabic structure is same as haiku, but it's more liberal on themes and it generally reflects upon philosophy, politics, humour and human nature. Another form is chain haiku. Here the poet writes several individual haiku in a sequence that tells a complete story. Chain senryu is also a nice form to write. You can visit http://shadowpoetry.com to gain more information on various forms. I am giving one chain haiku by me below. I would like you to visit it.
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1852733 by Not Available.


ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my blog http://www.neovisiona.blogspot.com .

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
21
21
Review of Kite  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Itchy Water~fictionandverse Author IconMail Icon
First of all I would like to praise your ideas about flying a kite. You've looked into this from a different point of view. I liked the way you've described things from the perspective of a kite flying high in the sky... Things becoming up side down, like raindrops falling from ocean upwards. This is truly a very creative piece of work. Keep it up.

ABOUT THE FORM:

It is a free verse poem as the info suggests. But you've used many rhyming words to make it sound better. The rhythm is very smooth. It gives the reader an impression of a smooth flight, really rhythm plays an important role in setting a poetic image. This is a job awesomely done. I admire your skill.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations also seem perfect. I suggest, though I am not sure, a comma at the end of third line may make it a bit better.

THEME:

Things from the perspective of a kite, more like a man flying face down high in the blue realms of the sky... The earth, green fields, forest and blue oceans over his head, rains falling upwards, everything revolving about an unseen axis over his head... Awesome imagery. Certainly deserves a thumbs up.

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:

The last line says something about the poet flying kites. As the poet, herself, is flying like a kite and seeing things from the perspective of a kite, then where ought her kite to be flying, above her i.e. on earth's surface or below her i.e. higher in the sky ? *Smile*

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4.5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


May be I would have liked a bit of more imagery and a bit longer description.

ABOUT ME:

I am a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my blog http://www.neovisiona.blogspot.com .

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person (if mentioned in it) will not remain responsible for any inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
22
22
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey sanju.storyteller Author IconMail Icon
I found this poem very interesting. It's theme is same as one of my poems
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1851544 by Not Available.
which I would like you to read. The positive end of your poem makes it more enjoyable. I liked the last line the most. It gives the reader an impression that he or she is not alone at all.

ABOUT THE FORM:

This is basically a free verse. But your use of rhymes and internal rhymes is too good. Though the rhythm is a bit rough at some places, I think, it's worth it. Extremely nice work. I admire your skill.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect.

THEME:

love and main emotion is sadness.

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:



RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


nothing

ABOUT ME:

I am also a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my blog http://www.neovisiona.blogspot.com .

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person ( if mentioned in this review) will not remain responsible for any kind of inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 
23
23
Review of Sprinter  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey Bitterroot Rose Author IconMail Icon
I found it an interesting piece of work. The thing I liked the most is your creative way of looking into things. I liked the way you've found a new weather 'sprinter' and described its features. This is really a very creative bit of work. As you are a newbie and not much experienced in the field of poetry, I won't be paying attention to the smoothness of your verses but to your creativity that is flowing through your verse.

ABOUT THE FORM:

This is basically a free verse. You've used bits of rhyming to make it sound better. And I daresay you've succeeded in it. Though your lines don't follow a fixed rhythm, still they sound good and highly meaningful. I admire your skill.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect.

THEME:

nature and weather description. Your attempt to personalise weathers is admirable.

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:

nothing

RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4.5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


keep writing and reviewing... You need only experience, you've got the creativity and talent. Best of luck.

ABOUT ME:

I am also a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my blog http://www.neovisiona.blogspot.com .

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person ( if mentioned in this review) will not remain responsible for any kind of inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 
24
24
Review of A beat of blood  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey Tones
I do admire your effort to write a haiku as a newbie, but I daresay haiku is one of the most difficult forms of modern poetry. It's not at all easy to express your thoughts within the limitations of just seventeen syllables. Your effort is worth it but still it has some basic mistakes. I'll discuss about them in the following sections.

ABOUT THE FORM:

Before attempting to write a haiku you must have a clear view on what you're going to write. A true haiku speaks of nature. Preciserly a haiku shows and not exactly speaks. Usually two discreet images are put side by side within the seventeen syllables of a haiku. This is widely known is juxtaposition of images. But your haiku lacks here. You are speaking of your own experience to the reader here, not showing him the beauty of serene nature. Secondly a haiku speaks of a moment, it records the beauty of nature just for one moment, not the past nor the future. Your poem speaks of a past occuring, which is not, strictly, a feature of a haiku. And you should also keep it in mind that it's costumary to put one season word in your haiku, though most of the modern poets do not obey it strictly. I would like to say your poem is written with a new perspective towards the scores of haiku, I may say it revolutionary. But as a formalist I am quite preservative. Well, as a newbie you have done quite courage to alter a form and derive something new out of it. I truely admire your effort and skill.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect.

THEME:



I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:



RATING:

As I am quite impressed with your work, I am giving it 3.5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


Keep trying.

ABOUT ME:

I am also a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my blog http://www.neovisiona.blogspot.com .

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person ( if mentioned in this review) will not remain responsible for any kind of inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 
25
25
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey alvarez
This is a nice poem. It sounded a bit like a rap to my ears. It speaks of your thoughts about a collection of poems in a different yet awesome way. I liked the last lines in which you've compared the poetry collection to a woman's spice cupboard. Really an intriguing piece of thought.

ABOUT THE FORM:

This is basically a perfect free verse. Sounds a bit like rap. The combination of alternate long and short lines makes it more pleasurable to read aloud . I admire your skill.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:

No mistake I could find. Punctuations are also perfect.

THEME:

a different way of lookin into things.

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK:



RATING:

As I am really impressed with your work, I am giving it 4.5 stars.

SUGGESTIONS:


no suggestions required

ABOUT ME:

I am also a formalist poet and a member of the POETIC EXPLORATION group. You can find my poems at my portfolio Ganesh Prasad~Back Home Author IconMail Icon. You can visit my blog http://www.neovisiona.blogspot.com .

DISCLAIMER:

This review is my own opinion. The group to which this review is affiliated nor any person ( if mentioned in this review) will not remain responsible for any kind of inconvenience.

Best wishes.
Review from "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 
88 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 4 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ganesh