Wow! This story gave me the chills. I started reading faster and faster and broke out in a cold sweat just reading this! I loved how you wrote it, the story line, the characters, everything! I also like how you included all of the thoughts the main character had, since they're thoughts anyone might have, which, for me, made it seem like I was the character and felt everything in an amplified sense as a result.
The only thing I might suggest would be to include even more frightening events and some more surrealism, like things coming to life, or a glimpse of whatever got Johnny and Becky. Also, it could be even scarier if you dwell even more upon all the horror and scariness running through the protagonist's head. If you tell the readers some of what he's feeling, it will create an even scarier sense of doom and horror.
Overall, it was a truly amazing read! Keep writing!
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