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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fowldarr
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Review by Ryan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
Misspelled title, use of abbreviated words throughout ('u' instead of 'you'), lack of capitilization are all issues.

In regards to the content of the poem, work on the imagery. You came in like an angel and saint, ok, how, why, paint the picture for us, tell us what made the other individual an angel and a saint.

Some of the stanzas don't tie well to themselves, second to last as an example. The last two lines feel very disjointed, maybe just a tense change in the last sentence would address that.

Keep working on it, it has potential.
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