Done a good job here. Nice topic and I know how you feel about your son as I feel the same about mine who is now nearly 25 and is a father of two.
Ther is only one or two slight errors in your writing ie,The girls just couldn't leave yo9u alone, but I am sure if you take a second look you will correct them.
What a strange sensr of houmour you have.
Although I could see no mistakes, I would like to say maybe it would be better if you split it in to paragraphs, this makes it easier to read. Keep up the good work.
This was written straight from the heart and the feelings are one of sorrow for both characters. It was well written, well presented and no choppy sentence's.
All any one can say to this is; There but for the sake of God goes I. Its so true any one can became an addict so easily in this hard world of ours, if we don't keep on our toes.
I enjoyed this poem very much, I can feel you hurting just as much as I felt my own many years ago. I can see how much pain it took to write this, that pain will fade, but only with time.
I wish I had keep my writing from the time of my pain, but they got lost in transit.
Your pain has helped you to write a remarkable piece if it helps to write it down, write it down, you can always throw them away later if you wish.
I am sure WDC will help with the healing.
This story is brilliant. The twist was awesome. I can just see them fighting for the gun, and Bryan carring Diane over his shoulder to the water. I can sense her panic and just about feel the waters icy grip. The mechanics of the story are educational, as I think that I some times can be repetative.
The story by ths young was an insight to other peoples reactions. I could feel his pain when for the first time in his life he knew what it was like to be discriminated against. The most interesting part I found was how he felt, how for some-one so young he knew how 'fine-tuned' his family was to each others feelings.
The setting in New York seemed exciting to me as I live in England.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/featherboa
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 9:24am on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
