Well written, good pacing, and minimal use of cliche or props. Stories of this type are a challenge to write, due to reader familiarity with the archetype. Mr Wilcox has successfully negotiated the fine line between an original idea, and holiday agit-prop. I enjoyed this story, and will be 'taking it apart', to learn what I can to improve my own work.
Interesting and original! Two qualities that have always been hard to come by in fiction. I enjoyed the pacing and style of your story; keeping working to develope your own voice. Have you read "The Key: How to Write Damn Good Fiction Using the Power of Myth" by James N. Frey? Controversy over his memoir aside, he does know how to write fiction, and relates his ideas very effectively in this manual. Also, consider story-telling time at your local library. Libraries always need new volunters, and the feedback from the kids can help you to understand what works (or doesn't) in other people's writing. Believe me, the kids are not shy reviewers! Thanks for the story, I will be checking your portfolio out again.
Excellent! I really felt like I was there. Please consider expanding this piece into a short story; the only thing limiting the emotional impact of your story is that it is too compressed. With a longer format, you would be able to vary the pacing to match the different 'scenes' in the story to more effectively match the action taking place. Very enjoyable, and I hope to read some more of your work. Thank you.
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