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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fantasy588
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5 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Three Swords  Open in new Window.
Review by Zen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I'm still trying to get into the story line because I am not used to reading about little kids but altogether I'm interested to see what happens to tyler. I think if you re-read it once there will be some words you see you might want to change, but not really too much. I also think the way you use mommy might be a little over done because the narrator isn't the child. (As far as I know) I look forward to reading more and will probably be back looking for the next part if it's up.
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Review by Zen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really enjoyed this! Usually I read fantasy type books but I gave this a try because I was curious to find out how he got the injuries for his daughter. I like how you used different types of words to describe something. I and probably many other writers have a problem trying to do that but it seemed easy for you. At first the beginning seemed odd but after reading more I realized it was a good choice to start it out like that. The only thing I have to say is that I think any form of telling what the person looks like in the begining might bring in something. I don't really thinks it needs it much but I thought I might mention it.
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Review by Zen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I would like to start this review by saying that your writing is amazing. You gave enough information to tell what was around and didn't over do it at all. When you were writing about her fight everything seemed so fast paced yet the writing didn't seemed listed like some tend to do. I am thogh sorry to say I have nothing bad to say about this. I read it twice to try and find something to help you with but your writing is so far better than mine I could't find anything. Congrats that was great.
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