Ethoria's Daughter's (ethoria) Reviews

Ethoria's Daughter

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12 Public Reviews Given

12 Total Reviews Given

1

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3936361

Review of Premise

Review by Ethoria's Daughter

Rated: E

| (3.0)

k, so he goes back in time, right? Is he in his body, does anyone else know about this? the idea sounds interesting, this sort of story could easily be very stereotypical, but if done well it can work. I haven't read any of your other writing, so I don't how that will go, but anything can work if you spend enough time working it.

2

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3935773

Review of A Breath of Life

Review by Ethoria's Daughter

Rated: E

| (4.5)

This was very sweet and well written. A beautiful poem, with great vocabulary. When I read this, I got the mental image that was being conveyed. easily. The commitment and passion are obvious, this is truly lovely. I am not usually a poetry person, but when I see a well done love poem I can't help myself. :)

3

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3935765

Review of Proverbs

Review by Ethoria's Daughter

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Very nice story. There were a few places that could benefit from some more description, and in most cases, I would recommend taking away the parentheses. Your descriptive writing is very good and I hope you keep it up. If you work on this story a bit more, it can become a masterpiece. Best of luck, I can see that you are obviously capable of making this even better!

4

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3935763

Review of Cat Girl

Review by Ethoria's Daughter

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Beautiful story. The only thing that didn't really make sense to me was the part when she talked about him hunting her. That could use a little more description, explain what actually happened then. Besides that, the only thing I would recommend is livening up the vocabulary. e.g. instead of they both knew she wasn't going to make it- They could both feel her swaying between the blurring lines of life and death. Or something else that really grabs the reader's attention. Overall, I really liked the story. Keep up the good work.

5

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3935756

Review of Erotic Proclivities

Review by Ethoria's Daughter

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Interesting story. Flows well. Would do well with a little more flow. The idea was good, but overall it seemed a bit choppy. With some work it could be an even better piece. maybe a bit more of the woman's reaction, sharpen up the ending so it had a bit more punch. The last line didn't really flow well, in my opinion. Overall, though it was well written.

6

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3935674

Review of Toys and take over.

Review by Ethoria's Daughter

Rated: E

| (2.5)

I would say, to improve this, first improve character development. I didn't feel a real connection to any of the characters. Add in some more emotion, make the reader genuinely upset when the dragon changes everyone.That was the main thing for me. More minor things were: How did they know the man was from the government? The part about the big spider seemed a bit rushed. Might wanna draw it out, make some more suspense. Overall, fun idea, has a lot of potential. Nice work.