I found my way to your portfolio and I'm so glad I did. This is another wonderful piece. I lost my father at a young age and I dread the day I lose my mother. I watched my father die in a similar manner and I can see the same unfathomable pain of seeing the destruction of someone you love. Your writing has conveyed the emotions in almost exact detail, which is an almost impossible feat. Congratulations and don't stop writing.
I checked out your portfolio and you are really talented. I especially liked this one. You have a gift for taking emotions that many of us feel sometimes and putting it beautifully into words. As I have more time, I hope to read more of your work.
I liked it, but I sense that your true intention was not a great piece of writing but rather a therapuetic release. However, these releases often do make for good writing. I can somewhat sympathize. I am a man and have never been a victim of domestic violence, however I am also a cop and I see it everyday (unfortunately). Your emotions sound like those I've heard time and time again. I'm just glad that your abuser has apparently been properly dealt with. Actually I am hoping to get a new position in my agency as a domestic violence investigator and can hopefully make sure that more get their just punishment.
I cannot comrehend the need of some men to hurt women to elevate themselves. I know there are a myriad of rationalizations and excuses, but I just don't get it. Maybe through your writings you can shed some light on this issue for other victims. It seems to be a popular topic on this site. I'm glad to see that you appear to be holding up well and dealing with your emotions. May you never be hurt again.
Amazing. I was initially drawn because you said it was dark and (sick as it may be) I like dark. I saw a couple of grammar and spelling errors, but I was so immersed in the story, that I didn't take note of where they were. So you may want to proofread again and if I spot them again, I'll let you know.
All in all, this is exceptional work and could be from any Stephen King or Dean Koontz novel. I especially love the line that "some demons are kept under wraps". If you read my entry "When a Cop Sleeps", you'll see exactly where I'm coming from.
I absolutely love the story. I don't know if you've ever heard the Johnny Cash song "25 minutes to go" but it expands in detail on the end section of your story. You have a wonderful back story and the death description was very vivd, sort of like Hemingway's "Short, Happy Life of Francis Macomber." Good work.
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