Oh, my goodness. This gave me goosebumps. Very well written. You can see the mother's side and Ryan's side and they're both right. He should be able to keep it but the mother needs to move on. This is definitely a heartbreaking situation.
This was fun! I liked it. I never thought about Satan having a daughter. People always depict his son instead. I love that God is a woman. It made the confrontation between her and the girl even better. Great job!
This was fun. When I started reading the story I definitely didn't see the vampire thing coming. Here are the only suggestions I have. "That's very unusual Shock alone isn't an adequte answer," he observed." The correct spelling is "adequate". Also, there needs to be a period between "unusual" and "Shock". One more thing. When John is telling Michael that he needs while is body changes, you don't need to add that he's changing into a vampire. That is already explained. Taking out that last part will just help it flow better.
LOL! This was hilarious. Mainly because guys really don't see any problem with making the couch, sheets, chair, etc. smell like garbage that's been sitting in the sun for 3 days. This was great.
I like this. Even though you don't come right out and say that the words are "I'm sorry" it's still obvious. It makes the reader think and feel. Everyone has felt like this at some point. Great job.
This was fun. I could definitely picture a cute little girl demanding to be introduced to this "imagination" person everyone keeps talking about. Well done. I liked the ending too.
This was good. Sad, but good. There were a few words that you misspelled. When you wrote "and saw that he saw that he won on either choice she makes" you should replace the first "saw" with something like "realize" to help it flow better. You don't want to use the same word too many times at once.
LOL! That's hilarious. I love it. In regards to number one, if I really needed that particular needle then I would get a metal detector. I can't really help you with number two. You're on your own with that one. And number three is just funny. Catholicism isn't the only religion that views the number three as sacred, but you are the only one with that reasoning!
This was amazing. It gave me goosebumps and it made me sad. There was one line near the beginning where you say "my" instead of "her". It's a great story though.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 5:57pm on Nov 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.