I loved this piece Write on! and don't forget that everyone's views are completely different = one man's trash is another man's treasure and this is definitely treasure to me Thank you for sharing this with us here on WDC!!
This piece has promise! I think with a bit of hard work and intense editing this story could be better but it certainly hold promise. One simple thing you could do is separate this into paragraphs, the huge block of text does nothing to enhance your reader's experience. Make sure you capitalize after full stop punctuation, and use exclamation points sparingly. I hope you consider editing this piece, let me know and I will surely check it out!
Blue Fire (E) I can't contain this poem in a few words. Hope you read it and like it. #1430523 by Anulekha
I really like this poem. The form is imaginative and the substance is deep. It has a few rough patches concerning vocabulary level (synonyms for words you use more than once in two lines) and the punctuation at the end is unnecessary but other than that I saw few problem points Thank you for sharing
"She does not live here any more" the line is just so powerful. This is another really moving poem and I just want to let you know that I was truly touched by your poetic words. I feel lucky to have found your port and will be checking back (probably constantly) to read your work. Thank you for sharing these, I appreciate it so, so much.
I've just been reading through your poems "My poems on depression" and I wanted to let you know that they are incredibly insightful and very relatable to anyone who has depression. You are really talented, I really do mean it, I was so moved I needed to let you know! The way you present the thought and manage to stay away, or re invent, the mundane depression cliches is really an art in itself. Thank you so much for sharing these, and I remember to hold on even in those "deep dark recesses"
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This is a review from one Rising Star to another
Hello I am Brit-Girl But call me Em I spotted your poem and either thought it had a lot of potential or I enjoyed reading it so much that I simply had to review it! Please take my comments and suggestions as they are offered, with humble grace in an effort to let you know my opinion. Thanks for understanding. And now without further jabber and whatnot I give to you…*drum roll* Your review
First Impressions:
This is a common theme in many poems and for a reason! This feeling is a strong emotion and leaves much residual thoughts that translate into poetry easily. However you have managed to shed a new light on this topic and that is fantastic!
Positive Points:
This is a very well written poem that points to well organised poetic thoughts. THe words choice is excellent and overall I really enjoyed reading this piece!
Final Thoughts:
Well I am thoroughly glad that I took the time to come over to you port and review a few of your items Thanks for sharing these with us and overall this is a great piece!
I am reviewing your piece today Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever another person says -- especially me! -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion! You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.
}First impressions:
This is review 5 of 5 that you won at Sherri's Christmas Auction!
Writer/Reader, Comment/Suggestions:
THis folder is filled with wonderful works and I am so happy that I checked it out! You have left me with a beter understanding for longer poetry and now I want to go write something
Technical Comments/Suggestions:
Very organised folder and the content is amazing!
Overall Thoughts:
I hope you got something from these reviews, if nothing else praise But praise is all this great work deserves! Thanks for sharing it with us here at WDC!
I am reviewing your piece today Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever another person says -- especially me! -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion! You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.
}First impressions:
This is review 4 of 5 !
Writer/Reader, Comment/Suggestions:
Wow, you really know how to make an impact! An that is exactly what you have done. This is a really strong piece and its heartfelt sentiment is very moving. from your descriptions and your figurative language, to your talent and obvious love of writing this piece shines with love. It was great!
Technical Comments/Suggestions:
None at all really..
Overall Thoughts:
Wow, I am just so blown away I love your style and flare for writing so keep it up!
I am reviewing your piece today Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever another person says -- especially me! -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion! You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.
}First impressions:
this is review 3 of 5!
Writer/Reader, Comment/Suggestions:
Wow, you have a knack for writing longer poetry! This is such a rare sight anymore. A lot of poets shy away from writing longer poems, even I admit I balk at an epic, but seeing this and the way you grasp the readers attention (and hold it all the way through) has really inspired me to try writing longer poems! Thanks for that and this is so very good!
Technical Comments/Suggestions:
The length is great and the consistant thoughts you express in this really brought me into the world! Great writing once again!
Overall Thoughts:
There is such a variety of work in here I am so happy I dived in You are very talented!
I am reviewing your piece today Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever another person says -- especially me! -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion! You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.
}First impressions:
THis is the 2nd of 5 reviews you won as an auction package from me
Writer/Reader, Comment/Suggestions:
THe story you tell in ths poem is really interesting! I like the diverse nature of your writing already and enjoyed reading this very much! You stay consistant with your point of view and the plot is gripping to the reader!
Technical Comments/Suggestions:
The rhyme scheme is fitting and you kept with it throughout! This is another great piece from you!
Overall Thoughts:
I am so excited to get to the next poem!! I'm having a blast
I am reviewing your piece today Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever another person says -- especially me! -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion! You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.
}First impressions:
This is 1 of 5 reviews you won as an auction package from me I apologise for the tardiness but hope to make up for lost time now
Writer/Reader, Comment/Suggestions:
This is a wonderful poem with really insightful thoughts! I love the descriptive language and your poetic devices used here. You have written a great poem and it is really enjoyable to read.
Technical Comments/Suggestions:
THe free flowing nature of this piece adds to the atmosphere on the whole and I am so glad I decided to check it out!
Overall Thoughts:
A lovely poem on the whole, it shows great skill and poetic prowess and is quite a read WRITE ON!
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Hello I am Brit-Girl But call me Em I spotted your piece and enjoyed reading it so much that I simply had to review it! Please take my comments and suggestions as they are offered, with humble grace in an effort to let you know my opinion. Thanks for understanding! And now without further jabber I give to you…*drum roll* Your review!
Review 3 of 3
Positive Points:
I love flash fiction! It is such a great way to strengthen your writing and challenge your creativity! This is a great representation of flash fiction at it's best, and I'll have to try out a 55 word story! The shortest I've ever written was 99 words
Suggestions for Improvement:
You use potent vocabulary and the technicalities are flawless. great writing!
Overall Thoughts:
The last line is a great one and so true! This is the last of your auction wins and I am so very sorry for the tardy delivery but the Christmas rush got to me early Thanks for being so understanding and now I am off to your friend!
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Hello I am Brit-Girl But call me Em I spotted your piece and enjoyed reading it so much that I simply had to review it! Please take my comments and suggestions as they are offered, with humble grace in an effort to let you know my opinion. Thanks for understanding! And now without further jabber I give to you…*drum roll* Your review!
Review 2 of 3
Positive Points:
Oh I love Flash Fiction it is such fun to read all of the action in such a small amount of time and words! You have a done a great job with this one and I was captured from the start! I love the personality you gave to the main character is endearing and this was really fun to read!
Suggestions for Improvement:
"That's" in the last line of the 2nd paragraph sounds a bit more dramatic if written as 'that is' but that is just my opinion
Overall Thoughts:
Another great story! You have a certain flair that is great fun to read Thanks for another highly enjoyable read!
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Hello I am Brit-Girl But call me Em I spotted your piece and enjoyed reading it so much that I simply had to review it! Please take my comments and suggestions as they are offered, with humble grace in an effort to let you know my opinion. Thanks for understanding! And now without further jabber I give to you…*drum roll* Your review!
Positive Points:
You seem to have successfully written what you intended to write and that in itself is a great feat, I believe this poem is rather short and could use some sprucing up but with a little work it could be much better
Suggestions for Improvement:
Length is an issue in this small poem, I would consider expanding upon you ideas and thinking things through.
Punctuation is non-exsistant and that is not functional to te reader, and it creates a disruption of the pattern.
Also, you have a few strong provoking words...but I think you could benefit from stretching your vocabulary and incorperating a few more rich aspects into your writing?
Overall Thoughts:
Thank youfor allowing me to read your work! I would not have reviewed your work if I thought it boring or mundane so please take this in good spirit Thanks again for this great read!
YOU ARE BEING REVIEWED BY:
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Hello I am Brit-Girl But call me Em I spotted your piece and enjoyed reading it so much that I simply had to review it! Please take my comments and suggestions as they are offered, with humble grace in an effort to let you know my opinion. Thanks for understanding! And now without further jabber I give to you…*drum roll* Your review!
Review 1 of 3
Positive Points:
This is such a heartfelt and personal piece! The character comes to life and his emotions become the readers. The feeling that you infused the main character with is a great asset to this story and the plot is quite inspirational! I really liked the beginning and how you incorperated some lovely memories from the characters childhood. I also like the middle part where he was grief stricken and just so emotional! You brought the emotions to life at the point. I loved the ending and how it showed a promise of new life and being strengthened by this heartwrenching experience!
Suggestions for Improvement:
This really was lovely! Though nothing in life is flawless, this comes pretty close for me Very inspirational writing!
Overall Thoughts:
I have started you auction wins Though I have fallen behind with my reviewing I am catching up now and I hope my reviews will be of some help to you Thanks for this wonderful read!
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Hello
Oh this is a great idea! I was just perusing the Dark Side of WDC and saw that almost all of the awardicons are red...I think we need some new colours Black is a very great suggestion...purdy maybe not white though, It might blend in with the WDC background too much I am game for any new colour Great job in the thought of this and I hope we get new colours
Content:
I really liked this poem! It has a certain reality but in a way it is very ethereal. I love the way you put your thoughts down onto the page and this poem is very well written! Well done!
Flow/Technical Aspects:
This flows very well and overall the only thing I would want is more of it It is a tad short for my taste, but that is completely my opinion1
Overall Thoughts:
A wonderful poem that holds such great meaning and is a great read! Thanks for sharing it ith us here at WDC!!
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Hello I am Brit-Girl But call me Em I spotted your piece and enjoyed reading it so much that I simply had to review it! Please take my comments and suggestions as they are offered, with humble grace in an effort to let you know my opinion. Thanks for understanding! And now without further jabber I give to you…*drum roll* Your review!
Positive Points:
The content is very real and it is embedded in the heartsof so many Americans that this is a heartfelt piece!
Suggestions for Improvement:
You say that you were 11...age matters not to me and I don't think it is necessary to point out that you were younger. Maybe create a folder for pieces that you wrote when you were younger...
Overall Thoughts:
A good poem about a very eminent problem! I like you interpretation of the events and overall this is a very great poem!
YOU ARE BEING REVIEWED BY:
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Hello I am Brit-Girl But call me Em I spotted your piece and enjoyed reading it so much that I simply had to review it! Please take my comments and suggestions as they are offered, with humble grace in an effort to let you know my opinion. Thanks for understanding! And now without further jabber I give to you…*drum roll* Your review!
This is review 9 of 15 that you won at "Invalid Item"
Positive Points:
Another strong poem in the same style as the last! I like it still and this one is another one of your better poems! You describe the words with such ferocity that they really come alive! Great job
Suggestions for Improvement:
This also has the problems like the last one...Use a colon after each lead word.
Also "rebegin" is not a word Use begin again or something to that effect!
Overall Thoughts:
I like this form and you have used it to your advantage! Great wordig and this is a good read! Thanks
YOU ARE BEING REVIEWED BY:
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Hello I am Brit-Girl But call me Em I spotted your piece and enjoyed reading it so much that I simply had to review it! Please take my comments and suggestions as they are offered, with humble grace in an effort to let you know my opinion. Thanks for understanding! And now without further jabber I give to you…*drum roll* Your review!
This is review 8 of 15 that you won at "Invalid Item"
Positive Points:
This is the best poem yet! I love the format and the wording is just perfect! You have taken a word and then givi=en it your interpretation to it and that is really great! I love the entire poem
Suggestions for Improvement:
On some lines you use a semicolon after the lead word but on others you use a period,,,? I would actually suggest using a colon after all of the words to indicate a slight pause and then a description.
Overall Thoughts:
This is certainly the best poem of yours I have read yet! It is clear and shows meaning without being overbearing. I really liked this one Good Job!
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Hello I am Brit-Girl But call me Em I spotted your piece and enjoyed reading it so much that I simply had to review it! Please take my comments and suggestions as they are offered, with humble grace in an effort to let you know my opinion. Thanks for understanding! And now without further jabber I give to you…*drum roll* Your review!
This is review 7 of 15 that you won at "Invalid Item"
Positive Points:
Well this sounds rather more like a rant than an actual verse to me but it is real and it shows your feelings on all sorts of political matter.
Suggestions for Improvement:
Your rant is very opinionistic and shows your beliefs on this matter. You come accross as being rather wild and the way you typed this is quite deranged. I think if you toned it down a bit and calmed down then this would become more reader friendly.
You may say that all of these are from your past and that you can't change them because you wrote them long ago and that is how they will stay...but this is the wrong attitude to have towards this situation. I think these poems have very good raw material in them, but that is just it...it is raw. You can use these materials and create a new poem, but still keep your past intact I would suggest this plan of action for many of these older poems, you could create some great poems from them!
Overall Thoughts:
A god poem for future poetic fodder. I think that you let your feelings show and you expressed your feelings!
YOU ARE BEING REVIEWED BY:
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Hello I am Brit-Girl But call me Em I spotted your piece and enjoyed reading it so much that I simply had to review it! Please take my comments and suggestions as they are offered, with humble grace in an effort to let you know my opinion. Thanks for understanding! And now without further jabber I give to you…*drum roll* Your review!
This is review 5 of 15 that you won at "Invalid Item"
Positive Points:
Well this one is still very "angsty" and it shows this emotion quite clearly! The free form is...well...free, and the content is really quite interesting!
Suggestions for Improvement:
I think that when you were this age you thought that the title had to be incorperated into the poem at least 5 times...it doesn't! In fact the title line doesn't even have to appear in the poem at all. You simply name a piece for what the content is about, not necessarily because there is the exact line in the poem.
You repeat "ill-begotten" a lot of times and this takes away from the force that could go behind these words.
Overall Thoughts:
A good thought, though rather dark, and with a few touvh ups this could be a good piece!
Em
WRITE ON~!!!! WRITE FOREVER~!!!
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Write on! and don't forget that everyone's views are completely different = one man's trash is another man's treasure and this is definitely treasure to me
) to read your work. Thank you for sharing these, I appreciate it so, so much.
This is a review from one Rising Star to another
First Impressions:
Positive Points: 
Final Thoughts: 
Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever another person says -- especially me! -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion! You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. 
I am game for any new colour
Use begin again or something to that effect!
but it is real and it shows your feelings on all sorts of political matter.