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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elvenartizt
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Review by Megan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow. Excellently written! Very thought provoking, and a twist at the end that I didn't expect. "...but their warmth won’t return life to her lifeless form." Too many "life's" here. It makes it sound redundant. Try these instead:
•but their warmth won’t return being to her lifeless form.
•But their warmth won't return Life to her Asceptic (daparted, drab, colorless, sober) form.

Just a suggestion. I really loved the story. It convey's alot of feeling. Keep it up!
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