I thought the story was fun and the dialog was especially well done. I think the writer could do a little more in the beginning to establish the characters and their relationships. We get a sense of their age, but I think it would be helpful to the reader to be specific and to provide some physical description as well. We know from the title and the prologue that this is going to turn out creepy. However, it might be more effective if the kids were a little less hesitant and a less creeped out by the fun house in the beginning. Let the creep factor build and the bravado decrease as you go through the fun house. Personally, I would do the reveal of the "If you tell, you'll go to Hell" as he is running away. I felt like the last bit was unnecessary. I thought throwing up in the grass would make a great ending.
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