Okay, this was really, really great. I love how you've started with more background on these characters. Are you planning on keeping with the original chapter as well? You could use this as a flashback sequence... Maybe start when they are older though and already in the woods, do flashbacks, etc. Really great Job!
The ONLY thing that I noticed was 'off' (for lack of better words) was this one sentence near the beginning.
"My dress is tangled up around my knees my clothes and I am curled up on my side."
Did you need a comma in there? It sort of seemed that the 'my clothes' part didn't fit. somehow. Otherwise, a really great job! Nice to see some writing action coming from your way!! Hope all is well, and I look forward to some more of your work!
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