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6 Public Reviews Given
12 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Beryl Greene Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Great, great poem. I love the direction you went with it. Speaking for the female soldiers who are just as brave to defend our country. Great insight to the other side, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Good word usage, good tone, nice steady flow. Really nice all the way around. I'm still not entirely confident as to rating, I read big long article about rating, which basically tabboed giving 5 stars, so I went with 4. It is a well desrerving poem, keep writing my friend, and take care.
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Review by Beryl Greene Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Pretty good, but the first stanza doesn't really flow, syllable wise. I think adding an extra syllable or 2 in the second line would help the flow better. I would say the same thing for the second stanze, it's good, but it's missing or perhaps lacking syllables, I just don;t think the flow is right. I would take out the word "time" from the second line third stanza" sees his chance, for mixed-up crazy living" or another route would be to take out the word "some" "sees his chance, time for mixed-up crazy living" even a thrid option is to change the words mixed-up and crazy around, " sees his chance, time for crazy, mixed-up living" Like I said it makes the poem flow more steadily in my opinion. Fouth stanza, I love it, just put a comma after "deal", you need a pause before "with" again to keep the flow. And also, just a suggestion maybe "I'll" instead of "they'll" in the last line. Fifth stanze has great flow, I just wonder at the word choice. All in all I thing its a good poem, right intime for the season,. Keep writing my friend, take care.
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