This is a very well-written piece. It took me reading the end a couple of times to figure out what exactly had occurred, but then it became clear. Incredibly emotional. I like how it keeps the reader guessing up until the end - it built suspense and made me want to follow through. At the end, it felt like the piece cut short, just like the character's life. The abruptness of it all felt jarring. Excellent!
This poem did a very good job sticking with its theme and with rhyme scheme. It made me feel some of the emotion and I think many people can relate to this topic. I do think that the rhythm and flow could be improved a bit, it seemed like the pacing started out quicker in the beginning and slowed towards the end. I enjoyed reading this overall though. Keep writing!
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