I like the concept of your piece, it is direct and conveys the meaning well.
The simple external rhyme of lace and paste in your piece added an element which stood out, albeit in a good way. A suggestion would be to create a rhythm for your words and add some structure or make it a complete free verse, if that's your thing, since the random rhyme disrupts the flow.
Looking forward to reading more of your work :)
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/drishali
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 3:57am on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.