The second reference of the old track suit, when the old man entered, did seem like a predictable twist. But the final one of an eternity spent running back was pretty original. I enjoyed this story very much. The perspective of a man's thoughts from his mid-to-twilight years was a nice style to go with and provided an interesting read.
i'm not used to this ryhming pattern, but it snot too hard to follow for a first time and I like the story. It would be nice if you could hitchike without any other form of "something for something" or fear of a stranger. Overall i liked this piece for its descripiveness and readability, the two most important things in a poetry piece. I would give it a 4.5 because of the style, but I'll go up to 5.0
Thought this was pretty good. It was an excellent portrail of the season. I think a good start as we enter autumn.
Your poetry is the reason I enjoy poetry. It had a nice flow and managed to ryhme, unlike some poetry I've read, but I prefer a poem that manages to flow smoothly and ryhme. And it still manged to be very descriptive. Its exactly why I read poetry.
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