This is quite hilarious! Very original material here, and the story was delivered well. It really makes me wish there was more to read!
I will point out that your grammar and punctuation could use a bit of work. I understood most of it without trouble, but it was nonetheless a bit of a hassle at a couple parts.
This story really touched me. I read it all twice! I epsecially appreciated the authors use of metaphors. I hope that you write more things like this, because I would be sure to read them. Keep up the good work!
Side Note:
I would really appreaciate it if you would take the time to read and review my story, Dudley Dursley and the Sorcerer's Stone. If your into Harry Potter you might enjoy this.
I was laughing through the entire story. I thought that the ending was pretty lame compared to the rest of the story, but hey, endings are hard. Keep writing!
(and if YOU want a good laugh you should read my parody, Dudley Dursley and Sorceror's Stone,)
Thanks for the laughs.
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