I enjoyed reading your poem it is full of emotion, I really can relate to the feelings you show through the poem. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Donna
I really enjoyed reading the first chapter
When you said (being the one to put my asleep) Did you mean (me)
I liked the way you introduced and described your characters.
Donna
I really enjoyed reading your story, I loved the way you introduced your characters. and the description, it kept me wanting to read more. I felt that I was right there with your characters and hope to read more of your story
Donna
I really enjoyed reading your story, I liked the way you introduced and developed your characters and the detail in your story.
The last sentence though you missed the h out of thought.
Donna
I really enjoyed reading your story and look forward in reading the rest.
I liked the way you described the scene but I think you could add a bit more description on your charachter. the story is brillient though.
Donna
Hi I really enjoyed reading your story and hope you write and add a bit more to this story. I loved the way you introduced your character and the detail in the story you could see through the characters eyes.
Donna
Hi I loved this story to I liked the way you introduced your characters and the way you are developing them. I read the first part and it made me want to read the second part. You will have to let me know when you have put the third part on. I really enjoyed the story
Donna
Hi Showren
I really enjoyed reading your story, I love to read vampire stories and writing about them. I loved the way you got your character to tell the story it is a brillient story
Donna
Hi Phoenix Blade, Wow, your poem is beautiful what feelings you brought out with your words. It is a pleasure to read such a beautiful poem hope to read more.
Donna
I love the story couldn't wait to finish reading it. Loved the way you introduced your characters. I enjoyed reading it it kept me on the edge of my seat. Would love to read more of the story
Hi Chefo
What a story it kept me on the edge of my seat.
I liked the way you introduced your characters and the way they interacted with each other. Keep writing. I really enjoyed reading your story
donnapeppy
Hi Brokenhunter
What a good story, it sure kept me on the edge of my seat.
There are however a few spelling mistakes and a couple of words missing but what a story.
You have developed your character really well and the emotion fear you brought out was very well done. I really enjoyed reading your story.
(A peal of laughter rang out behind from behind him ) Did you mean to say this?
Would it read better if you wrote.
(A peal of laughter rang out from behind him.)
(his breath barley cam missed the e off)
(As hea4d they were deigned )
(designed)
(Allow them to pull him aside he would become lost.)
(then)
(As he feel a eerily glowing)
(felt an)
This is only a suggestion.
I really have enjoyed reading your story and hope to read more.
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