I quite like this, especially the use of historical settings and characters and the intigration of verious myths into the plot line. Your dialogs and banter are interesting and keep pulling the eye further along very well.
My only real complaint is that some of your language is a little "choppy" or unclear in a few places.
Example, early on: "The southern region received even less. Inhabitants of the area saw rain as a blessing seldom bestowed upon them, but were always grateful nonetheless."
seems to contradict itself, and you tend to overuse "and" in sentences alot which is a little distracting. I tend to do that myself, sometimes I find it helpful to read passages aloud to myself to get a feel for their flow.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/docflamingo
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 11:53am on Nov 24, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
