\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/docabn
Review Requests: OFF
3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Abduction  Open in new Window.
Review by JSBr Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
brilliant absolutely brilliant, could probably be expanded with more back story. An alternate view of life death and reincarnation. If you take this anywhere else I would love to read it thank you
2
2
Review by JSBr Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
I am a big fan of this style of poetry but I have found the impact to be more striking if you remove as many filler words as possible example...
"Heavenly, tan-colored breasts,
Infinitely desirable and luscious,
Exposed only partially
By her stylish, casual, decorated shirt,
Appear to me ever so distinctly"

and change it to

Heavenly, tan-colored breasts,
Infinitely desirable; luscious,
Exposed partially
by stylish, casual, decorated shirt,
Appears; ever so distinctly

In my opinion ...
the fewer words used the better
"thank you for letting me critique"
2 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/docabn